Joey Goes to Military School
by Shes Uhh Miistake
Summary: Because of Joey's grades, Joey's dad sends him to HBMA. He thinks the torture is just the beginning... R and R! FINISHED!
1. Bad Grades

It's me! OK, this story has Joey's dad in it and I know you're probably like 'This is a tragedy story, isn't it?' Guess what. It's not! I've always imagined Joey's dad as an army general and not a drunkard.  
  
Miss Nguyen: Today I'm sending home report cards. Many of you have done well. You others, where are you when I assign the extra credit projects? I mean, how hard is to go to Brazil and spend a day with two cannibals?  
  
Joey: *under his breath* Really hard. She must be dying to get rid of us...  
  
*Yugi gets his report card*  
  
Yugi: All right! All A's!  
  
Ryou: A-'s... Not as good as A+'s, but I'm sure Father will be proud.  
  
Tristan: Daddy's boy-  
  
Ryou: WHAT!?  
  
Tristan: *in a British accent* but I'm sure Father will me proud...  
  
Ryou: *Hip-hop accent* Brotha, ya betta take dat back!  
  
Tristan: Watcha gonna do? Huh, huh?  
  
Tea: Okay, you two, break it up!  
  
Yugi: What'd you get, Joey?  
  
Joey: Hmmmm, let's see-  
  
*Joey looks down at his report card*  
  
Science D-  
  
Math F  
  
L/A F-  
  
Soc. Stud. D  
  
Joey: WHAT!? D's and F's? Miss Nguyen, I did more than half of the Extra Credit projects you assigned!  
  
*Ms. Stenta (the principal) walks in*  
  
Ms. Stenta: Mr. Wheeler, are you shouting in class again?  
  
*Joey coolly walks up to Ms. Stenta*  
  
Joey: *puts his arm around Ms. Stenta's shoulder as if they're best buds* Yo Ms. Stenta, I think Jodi (Miss Nguyen) here owes the both of us an explanation, don't ya think?  
  
Ms. Stenta: What's wrong this time? *crosses her arms*  
  
Joey: Jodi's been giving me A LOT of bad grades, and I've done almost all of the E.C. projects she's assigned. Isn't that unfair?  
  
Ms. Stenta: Miss Nguyen, why had Mr. Wheeler been getting failing grades?  
  
Miss Nguyen: He did ALL of the projects wrong, also I disliked them.  
  
Ms. Stenta: That gets you a bonus for Saturday-  
  
Joey: What!? She's trying to flunk me and you're giving her a bonus!?  
  
Ms. Stenta: Detention for a month, Mr. Wheeler and no bargains, buts, or what ifs.  
  
*Ms. Stenta heads for the door*  
  
Ms. Stenta: Oh yes, detention's in Class D. Mr. Lawler will be awaiting YOUR company! *laughs evilly and leaves*  
  
*Joey walks back to his seat*  
  
Joey: Man, I can't wait until she's fired.  
  
Tristan: Or promoted.  
  
Joey: Shut up.  
  
*Joey realizes everyone's staring at him*  
  
Joey: Take a picture; it lasts longer.  
  
*Everyone stops staring*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Class D- Detention with the Lawler  
  
^a/n: Mr. Lawler spits as he talks. If any of you watch That's So Raven, you can probably guess Mr. Lawler's based on Mr. Lawler from That's So Raven^  
  
Mr. Lawler: Mr. Wheeler! I'm expecting you in my class in two years! *holds his hand out* It's a pleasure to meet you!  
  
*Joey wipes of spit from his face with his jacket sleeve*  
  
Joey: Yeah, but I'm here for detention.  
  
Mr. Lawler: Detention! Ms. Stenta didn't say anything about detention! *thinks for a moment* Well in that case, write 'I will behave and not act stupid around Ms. Stenta' a hundred times.  
  
Joey: Where?  
  
Mr. Lawler: On the dry-erase boards of course.  
  
*Mr. Lawler hands Joey a red cherry-scented dry-erase marker and points at the first board*  
  
Mr. Lawler: Begin.  
  
^-^ An hour later... ^-^  
  
Joey: ...not act stupid... around Ms. Stenta... DONE!  
  
Mr. Lawler: Swell! You can go now; I'll see you in two years!  
  
^-^ On the way home... ^-^  
  
*Joey checks his watch*  
  
Joey: All right! Almost time for Hollywood 7!  
  
*Joey goes into his house, unfortunately Joey's dad (General Wheeler) is standing right in front of the door*  
  
General Wheeler: YOU'RE LATE SOLDIER!  
  
Joey :I had detention. Sorry, Dad.  
  
General Wheeler: Do you have any shame? DETENTION! My children don't get DETENTION! *under his breath* Maybe I should've let Lydia (Joey's mom) take Joey with her...  
  
Joey: Huh?  
  
General Wheeler: Any papers today- perhaps for suspension?  
  
Joey: Nah, just a report card and some other papers.  
  
*Joey hands General Wheeler his report card and other papers*  
  
*General Wheeler goes into his room to look at the papers*  
  
*Joey heads into the kitchen for a quick snack*  
  
Joey: All right! Dolphin and Friends cheese crackers!  
  
*Joey opens the bag and heads for the TV*  
  
Joey: Time for Hollywood 7! 


	2. Welcome to Hollan Berry Military Academy...

It's me, yet again! I hope you guys liked the first chapter; I tried to make it as funny as possible... Oh yea, I forgot to say, Yu-Gi-Oh! didn't ever light up in my brain- It was all Kazuki Takahashi's bright idea!  
  
Joey: Shuj-  
  
Me: Yeah? (does the girly eyelash thing)  
  
Joey: Why'd you make me the one to go to HBMA?  
  
Me: Coz' I thought you'd look kawaii in an army suit...  
  
(Runs after Joey)  
  
Joey: GO HAVE A CRUSH ON TRISTAN OR SOMETHING!  
  
Joey: C'mon, Paul! Kiss her!  
  
General Wheeler: SOLDIER!  
  
Joey: Kiss her!  
  
*General Wheeler turns the TV off*  
  
Joey: Dad! Paul was about to kiss Hannah!  
  
General Wheeler: Let me take a second to pretend I care... Glad that's over with.  
  
*Joey clicks the TV back on* *General Wheeler turns it back off*  
  
General Wheeler: I'm not impressed with your grades. You've been getting Fs and Ds ever since you've started class 10...  
  
Joey: It's kinda hard to pay attention when I'm scrubbing floors and wiping windows all night long...  
  
General Wheeler: That, young man, builds your character and initiative!  
  
Joey: *groans* What do you want me to do about it?  
  
General Wheeler: Brace yourself... I'm sending you to Hollan Berry Military Academy!  
  
Joey: Huh? What's that?  
  
General Wheeler: Well, it's a military school and it puts pressure on you until you're well behaved and the Einstein of your family.  
  
Joey: But I like Domino High!  
  
General Wheeler: Then you'll like HBMA.  
  
*General Wheeler leaves the room* *Joey turns the TV back on*  
  
Joey: Aw man! Paul already kissed her! Oh well their singing now (singing voice)  
  
*Joey's singing and dancing*  
  
Joey: .l Show me, show me you colours, show me. Don't break this spell I'm in please don't break my heart. Please show me, show me your colours, baby tell me who you really are .l  
  
***A week later*** ***The Domino City Train Station***  
  
General Wheeler: Be on your best behaviour  
  
Joey: I know, I know. Brush your teeth; obey your captain (you remember what happened in Cadet Kelly); and put your best effort into all of your work.  
  
*Joey heads for the train*  
  
General Wheeler: Oh yes, there is an obstacle course you must complete everyday, or no dinner!  
  
Joey: *in his mind* No dinner!? How will I ever survive!?  
  
***Hollan Berry Military Academy***  
  
Commander Drake: Be up by 5:30, breakfast is at 6:00, your classes are from 6:30 to 12:30 and then you will have lunch. You will then have a free hour and then you will begin the Obstacle Course. If you finish, hurray- you get dinner. If not- have loose change for a snack from the vending machine. Dinner's at 6:30.  
  
Joey: Yes, sir.  
  
Commander Drake: Over here we say 'Agreed, Commander, sir' with a salute.  
  
Joey: Got it.  
  
Commander Drake: And your captain is Captain... *scans a list* Ah, yes! Captain Jon McIntosh, captain of the Periwinkle Panthers! You, of course, will call him Captain McIntosh.  
  
Joey: Agreed, Commander, sir. And where is the house of the Periwinkle Panthers?  
  
Commander Drake: The house right beside this building.  
  
Joey: *salutes* Thank you, Commander, sir.  
  
*Pink Panthers House*  
  
Student: Ooh, look! It's a newbie!  
  
Another student: A tall, tough guy!  
  
Yet, another student: Do you think he's gonna give Cap'n Computer a hard time?  
  
Ugh, another student: Yep. No doubt into that, Danny.  
  
*Joey spots an empty bunk*  
  
Joey: Is this anyone's bunk?  
  
Student on the upper bunk: Nope. It's all yours.  
  
*Joey puts his stuff on his new bunk*  
  
Student on the upper bunk: I'm Onni, and you are?  
  
Joey: Joey, Joey Wheeler.  
  
Onni: Hey, Joey. You and I are gonna be pals.  
  
Joey: Sounds great. So, uh, what time is it?  
  
*Onni checks his watch*  
  
Onni: Just about time for dinner. We have to go freshen up first, then meet up with Captain McIntosh about our assigned tables.  
  
Joey: OK, cool.  
  
Onni: Joey, I'd get used to saying 'positive comment' 'cause the captains, teachers, and commanders aren't gonna listen to the word 'cool' in HBMA.  
  
Joey: OK.  
  
Did ya'll like it? I know it wasn't that funny, I apologise. But the nest chapter is gonna be full of laughs (I hope!). Keep reviewing! 


	3. Sunday Plans

Hey everybody! I'm totally sorry it took me so long to update! My computer went nuts for the past week or whatever and my friend fixed it just yesterday!  
  
Me: Joey, aren't you happy that I can continue?  
  
Joey: No, no, definitely not!  
  
Me: You copied Cogsworth!  
  
Joey: Can we just get to the story now?  
  
Me: No, did you get permission from the Disney people if you could use that line?  
  
Joey: Why do you care?  
  
*Shujee and Joey argue for hours*  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
*After dinner, in the P. Panther's house*  
  
Joey: These cooks cook better than my dad ever will!  
  
Onni: Yep. I like it here too.  
  
Joey: So, what's Captain McIntosh like?  
  
Onni: If you don't annoy him, you'll like him, but he seems to get onto everybody lately.  
  
Joey: It's probably natural. My dad gets stressed all the time.  
  
Onni: Oh.  
  
*Joey thinks of something else to talk about*  
  
Joey: Have you ever dueled before?  
  
Onni: You mean Duel Monsters?  
  
Joey: *very excited* Yeah! Do have any?  
  
Onni: Nope.  
  
Joey: *loses spirit* So then, how do you know about it?  
  
Onni: I used to watch it on TV. Then I got sent here.  
  
Joey: Well Onni, I was runner-up in Duelist Kingdom!  
  
Onni: You're kidding!  
  
Joey: I'm not. Of course my best friend Yugi defeated me and he was the one who beat Pegasus.  
  
Onni: Oh.  
  
Joey: Don't worry, you're gonna be one of my new best buds!  
  
Onni: Great! So, uh, did you bring your cards?  
  
Joey: Of course! I was hoping you would ask!  
  
*Joey digs his cards out of his backpack*  
  
Joey: Here they are. *Shows his cards to Onni* this is my Red Eyes, the Time Wizard. oh I forgot about my Baby Dragon!  
  
Onni: Wow! Those are so cool! Maybe we could by some on Sunday!  
  
Joey: Why not now?  
  
Onni: Curfew's in half an hour. We don't do anything on Sundays and we'd have a lot of time!  
  
Joey: Cool, I can't wait!  
  
Stay tuned! K, I'm gonna need suggestions- what kind of cards should Onni get? I would base it on my deck, but my little bro put 'em all in the washer and so I forgot what I have! ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME! : 


	4. A Better Duelist?

Hi! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I got busy writing the first two chapters of my Rurouni Kenshin fic. Well, anyway- we left off her Joey and Onni planned to go to a game shop to buy Duel Monsters cards!  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^ *And Sunday arrives.*  
  
Onni: You ready?  
  
Joey: Yep. So when are we going?  
  
Onni: I was thinking after breakfast. We can tell Captain McIntosh where we're headed so he doesn't give us Mess Hall duty because we didn't tell him where we were going.  
  
Joey: Sounds good to me.  
  
*After breakfast.*  
  
Joey: I wish they had a Kame Game Shop here- Yugi's gramps owns a game shop named that.  
  
Onni: Danny told me about Kirei Game Shop. It's a few blocks from here and he told me they sell the best cards ever!  
  
Joey: Tight.  
  
*Kirei Game Shop*  
  
A clerk named Timothy: Hello! How can I help you?  
  
Joey: Yeah, uh, we're looking for Duel Monsters cards.  
  
Timothy: Over there *Points to a large rack* Best of luck- the good cards are really hard to get a hold of lately.  
  
Onni: Thank you, sir.  
  
(J and O walk over to the rack)  
  
Joey: Pick 'em out wisely. Maybe you'll have luck as good as mine and get cards as good as mine.  
  
Onni: Don't worry I'm Irish. Irish people have good luck all the time.  
  
Joey: Geez, I never thought about that. I never asked Dad if we were Irish.  
  
Onni: How many packs do I get?  
  
Joey: I'd say about 6. You'll 54- 1 less than me.  
  
Onni: Okay. (begins to pick out different coloured packs)  
  
*Back in the P. Panthers' house*  
  
Onni: Should I open them now?  
  
Joey: Yeah! The sooner we find out what they are, the sooner we can duel!  
  
*ONNI'S CARDS*  
  
Guardian of the Throne  
  
Coffin Seller  
  
Invader of the Throne  
  
Serpent Night Dragon  
  
Dark Witch  
  
Princess of Tsurugi  
  
Opticlops  
  
Wingweaver  
  
Trap Hole  
  
Sword of the Deep-seated  
  
Spirit of the Breeze  
  
Amphibian Beast  
  
Nuvia the Wicked  
  
Gemini Elf  
  
Revival Jam  
  
Mage Power  
  
Magic Cylinder  
  
Gravekeeper's Spy  
  
Dark Dust Spirit  
  
Arsenal Bug  
  
Timeater  
  
Mucus Yolk  
  
Servant of Catabolism  
  
Master Kyonshee  
  
Mr. Volcano  
  
Hysteric Fairy  
  
Humanoid Worm Drake  
  
Worm Drake  
  
Humanoid Slime  
  
Polymerization  
  
Ryu-ran  
  
Malovent Nuzzler  
  
Two-pronged Attack  
  
Goblin's Secret Remedy  
  
(a/n: the other ten cards or so are in your imagination!)  
  
Joey: *has a worried look on his face* those are good cards, but power isn't everything, you gotta have skills as well as determination.  
  
Onni: I've got it all. C'mon let's duel!  
  
Joey: *looks at his watch* Oh, well uh, look at the time- 6:15. Fifteen minutes till dinner- we don't wanna be late!  
  
Onni: We've a got a while, why can't we duel?  
  
Joey: My friend, dueling can take a long time. We'll duel after dinner, does that sound good?  
  
Onni: Okay.  
  
(After dinner..) *. *  
  
Joey: I just want you to know, if you do lose, it's okay. You can learn from your mistakes.  
  
Onni: I'm pretty confident- okay let's duel!  
  
(a/n: I hate writing duels so, it's all in your head..)  
  
(After the duel)  
  
Onni: And your life points reach zero *looks at Joey* Are you okay?  
  
Joey: I'm fine. I'm just amazed at how good you are.  
  
Onni: Beginner's luck, I guess. Anyway, good game, or whatever you say. We're still pals, right?  
  
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. *in his mind* It's not such a big deal, but it's so embarrassing! I lost to someone who hasn't had any experience at all! Why'd I have to go open my big mouth and ask about duel monsters?  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Oooh, Joey seems kinda mad, doesn't he? I'm gonna let you guys vote- should Joey make a big deal about this and be mad at Onni or should he stay friends with Onni and forget this whole thing? Vote and review!  
  
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	5. The Tough Times

'Sup? K, I'd like to thank Kawaii-Chibi-Neko and Angelbrite for reviewing- thank you so much! Now for the fifth chappie, I decided Joey should stay friendly.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*  
  
*Breakfast the next morning.*  
  
Onni: Hey Joey, are you mad 'cause I beat you yesterday?  
  
Joey: Dude, I told you, no. I've been beat by jerks and I've been by one that called me a puppy, but sure I lost my temper, but most importantly, I got beat by best bud there and here, but I can never be mad.  
  
Onni: So we're still buds?  
  
Joey: Yep.  
  
A voice: Spearitt!  
  
Onni: Hold on a sec, Joe, Captain McIntosh's calling me. *goes to CM (Captain McIntosh)* Yes, sir?  
  
CM: Introduce me to the new cadet.  
  
Onni: Sir, yes, sir! *walks back to Joey* Dude, CM wants to meet you.  
  
Onni: Captain, this Cadet Wheeler, sir. (to Joey in a whisper) Salute!  
  
Joey: Oh, yeah- *salutes*  
  
CM: From what Commander Drake told me, I thought you'd be a wimp. I guess not!  
  
Joey: *in his mind* I don't like him.  
  
CM: You definitely seem like a troublemaker. So, before you can cause trouble I'm giving you detention.  
  
Onni: Captain McIntosh, sir, isn't that a little harsh?  
  
CM: Stay out of this, Spearitt. *back to Joey* I decided to write you up for extra obstacle course time *takes out a notepad and scribble something down* So, it looks like you're not going be having dinner for a week! *hands Joey a 'Misbehaving Cadet' slip* I'd better not see you at dinner this week! Understood!?  
  
Joey: *salutes* Sir, yes, sir!  
  
*Joey walks back to his table*  
  
Joey: He's cold, man. Why's he hired?  
  
Onni: It's a rumor, but everyone says that Captain M.'s dad was gonna sue Commander Drake if he didn't hire Captain M.  
  
Joey: Does Captain M. treat all new cadets this why?  
  
Onni: No, only the really tall, tough-looking ones. (a/n: FYI- Onni's not exactly tall and tough-looking. He has an innocent face [not as innocent as Ryou's] and chocolate brown hair)  
  
Joey: Cold.  
  
Onni: Tell me about it.  
  
(War history class)  
  
War History teacher (Mr. Travis): In 1861, the Civil War began. Does anyone know why?  
  
*Joey raises his hand*  
  
Mr. Travis: Yes, Cadet Wheeler.  
  
Joey: It had to do with slavery and Honest Abe. and, uh..  
  
Mr. Travis: You're on the right track; does anyone else know?  
  
*a girl raises her hand*  
  
Mr. Travis: Yes, Miss Thomas?  
  
Miss Thomas (a.k.a. Ciara): Mainly slavery. The north opposed of it and the south agreed with it. Their differences caused this war- also known as the War Between the States.  
  
Mr. Travis: That is absolutely correct. I couldn't have said it better myself. *back to teaching* Now the armies..  
  
Joey: *in his mind* Wow, she's smart and pretty. I hope she's single!  
  
*THE OBSTACLE COURSE.* (scary music plays)  
  
Some person: One. two. *blows whistle*  
  
CM: RUN THROUGH THE TIRES! FASTER, CARGAL! EXCELLENT, GARCIA! PICK YOUR LEGS UP, PEOPLE! SPEARITT, SHOW THE CADET HOW IT'S DONE!  
  
Joey: I can't believe I have to do this all week extra time!  
  
Onni: (a little bit ahead of Joey) Better get used to it! Captain M. is strict! If you're still up after curfew, he gives you detention.  
  
Joey: What a ruthless guy. (gasps for breath)  
  
(Joey stops to rest)  
  
CM: MOVE IT, WHEELER!  
  
(Joey starts running again)  
  
Joey: Uhh, I can't go down.  
  
Onni: (grabs the rope) Why not?  
  
Joey: I've never done this before. What if I fall?  
  
Onni: It's easy watch me.  
  
(Onni goes down, down, down)  
  
Onni: Now grab the rope and do what I did.  
  
Joey: (grasps the rope) Okay.  
  
(halfway there and Joey falls on his back)  
  
Joey: OW! I can't believe I'm gonna have to do this! Ow, my back.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Half of me: Poor Joey, that's all I can say.  
  
The other half of me: I'm so ruthless and mean! How can I torture him this way?  
  
Half of me: As earned as deserved- he's an idiot and he got an idiot's punishment.  
  
The other half of me: He didn't earn or deserve it!  
  
REVIEW! 


	6. And The Happy Times

Good news! Fall Break is here and I'm gonna finish this story by Halloween (my big sister's b-day!)!  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
CM: Ho many times, Cadet?  
  
Joey: Ten, Captain, sir!  
  
CM: Then I'm going to expect twenty tomorrow!  
  
(CM walks away)  
  
(Joey notices Ciara and walks up to her)  
  
Joey: Hey.  
  
Ciara: Hi, aren't you that guy I had t correct about the Civil War?  
  
Joey: Yeah, that's me, Dumb Blonde Joey.  
  
Ciara: You're no that dumb. It happens to every, even me.  
  
Joey: For real?  
  
Ciara: (laughs) Yeah, for real. Especially in math, I totally stink at it, but I bet you're a true mathematician, right?  
  
Joey: (in his mind) No, I'm failing math!  
  
Ciara: Did you say something?  
  
Joey: Uh, yeah. I was saying, that uh, I'm a really good mathematician. My other teacher was proud, she gave me A plus pluses!  
  
Ciara: Really, great. So I guess you can help me with my math homework. I'm totally stuck on numbers seven through thirty-two; maybe you can help me.  
  
Joey: Hey, why not now?  
  
Ciara: OK. Lemme go get it.  
  
Joey: (to himself) Way to go, Bucko. Look what you got yourself into?  
  
Ciara: Okay, I'm back. So, first you have to help me with number 7.  
  
Joey: Let's see- 4 cubed times 53 squared divided by 2 squared. These must be exponents!  
  
Ciara: Yeah, see, there's the problem. You see I kinda started to fall behind in 6th grade when we learned about exponents and order of operations, so I don't really now what to do.  
  
Joey: (in his mind) Think, Joey, think! Miss Nguyen went over this with you guys! Something about PEMDAS, it was Please Exclude My Dumb Aunt Suzie! And exponents, Miss Gurney went over this one! Uh, oh yeah! Exponents- the big number is the base and the exponent is the number of times you multiply your base! Yes!  
  
Ciara: (taps her pencil) You OK?  
  
Joey: Yeah I'm fine. Ok, here's what you do- the big number, four, is the number you're gonna multiply. Three, or cubed, is how many times you're gonna multiply it. So, what's 4x4x4?  
  
Ciara: Let's see, 16 x 4 is. 64!  
  
Joey: Okay, so that's how you do it. Do you still need help?  
  
Ciara: No, I think I got it no! Thanks! (gets up and kisses Joey on the cheek) See you tomorrow!  
  
Joey: Bye! (Joey gets up and heads back to the P. Panthers' house)  
  
********************  
  
Onni: You starving? I brought you some bread just in case.  
  
Joey: Nah, I can get used to it.  
  
Onni: You? Not eating? I knew it, the Earth is spinning in the wrong direction!  
  
Joey: It's not that abnormal. What's abnormal is me getting noticed by the most popular girl in HBMA!  
  
Onni: Katherine Cordes noticed you?  
  
Joey: Katherine Who? No, I'm talking about her friend, Ciara Thomas.  
  
Onni: She's okay, but Katherine looks a lot better.  
  
Joey: Dude, you wouldn't believe what happened during dinner!  
  
Onni: What happened?  
  
(Joey explains the story)  
  
Onni: Dude, you are so lucky! I can't even get Katherine to look at me!  
  
Joey: If she doesn't look at you, call her name and see what she does. Oh, and tell her that you can duel; girls love guys who can duel!  
  
Onni: Did you tell her that you can duel and that you were 2nd in Duelist Kingdom?  
  
Joey: Not yet, maybe we should take action tomorrow!  
  
(.and tomorrow arrives.)  
  
(Literature, the class where Joey, Onni, Ciara, and Katherine come together)  
  
(Before class)  
  
Joey: Hey, Ciara. You like Duel Monsters?  
  
Ciara: Do I like 'em? I love 'em! I even have a few!  
  
Joey: Well, you're talking to the runner-up in Duelist Kingdom!  
  
Ciara: No way! For real?  
  
Joey: Yep. Everything's at home, so I can't necessarily prove it yet.  
  
Ciara: Don't worry I believe you.  
  
(As for Onni.)  
  
Onni: Hey, Katherine.  
  
Katherine (looks at Onni) Oh, hi. You're Onni Spearitt, right?  
  
Onni: Yeah, that's me.  
  
Katherine: I've been trying to get noticed by you all year!  
  
Onni: Really? I have too!  
  
Katherine: That's one point for us!  
  
Onni: You mean we were playing Heart-to-Get?  
  
Katherine: That's what it looks like!  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Everything's going great! I'm so happy, and something else- I typed this whole chapter in ten minutes!  
  
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	7. Another Dragon

2 reviews! Hurray! ***************************************  
  
(P. Panthers' house)  
  
Onni: Joey, I want you to meet a friend of mine.  
  
Joey: OK.  
  
Onni: He lives on the other side of the room, but he went away to SC for a while.  
  
Joey: Oh, okay.  
  
Onni: (leads him to "the other side of the room") Joey, meet Zed. Zed, this is my pal Joey.  
  
Joey: Hey, uh, Zed.  
  
Zed: Hi! I can't believe I'm meeting a real duelist!  
  
Joey: Yeah, well, when you're Onni's pal and Onni's my pal, la dolce vita comes to you!  
  
Onni: Huh?  
  
Joey: Y'know, la dolce vita, the sweet life?  
  
Onni: Why don't you just say that?  
  
Joey: Beats me, I guess I've always wanted to be Italian.  
  
Onni: Romeo was English.  
  
Joey: I guess I wanna be English too.  
  
(JOZ [Joey, Onni, and Zed] laugh)  
  
(the Obstacle Course)  
  
CM: Through the tires! HURRY UP, PEOPLE!  
  
(Joey and Ciara see each other)  
  
Joey: Hi.  
  
Ciara: Hey. I wanted-  
  
Someone: MOVE, THOMAS! THIS IS THE OBSTACLE COURSE, NOT THE HEART-TO-GET LINE!  
  
Joey: Who's that?  
  
Ciara: That's my captain, Captain ACME-Rian; she's strict.  
  
Joey: Strict? My captain's strict.  
  
Ciara: Well, I don't wanna get detention, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.  
  
Joey: OK. Bye!  
  
(Joey goes through the mud)  
  
Joey: I hate this part.  
  
(DETENTION)  
  
CM: (walks up to Joey) Cadet, Commander Drake wants everyone to come eat dinner today. He's got a special announcement.  
  
Joey: Yes!  
  
CM: But that means that you have an extra day to the obstacle course.  
  
Joey: Aw, man!  
  
(Mess Hall)  
  
Commander Drake: Rumors are true and I am retiring, but we will have a new commander and he has had a lot of experience with militaries. I am retiring next week and your new commander will arrive tomorrow. We will have a 'Welcome Dance' for him. He will be introduced to you tomorrow during lunch so everyone must come to lunch.  
  
(Commander Drake steps off the stage)  
  
Onni: Who do you think our new commander's gonna be?  
  
Zed: I dunno. Whoever it is, I hope it's not someone like CM. CM's bad enough; two of them would be like twin villains!  
  
Joey: Or maybe he's gonna be really nice and he's gonna get CM fired!  
  
Onni: That would rock!  
  
Zed: I'm in for it.  
  
(Tomorrow at lunch)  
  
Commander Drake: I'd like to introduce you to our new commander. Everyone, say hello to Commander Wheeler.  
  
(Everyone but Joey claps)  
  
Joey: (Raises his hand) Wheeler who?  
  
Commander Drake: Phillip Wheeler III.  
  
(Joey falls off of his chair)  
  
Joey: NOOOOOOOO!  
  
Onni: Dude, what's wrong.  
  
Joey: Phillip Wheeler III is my dad!  
  
Zed: You're kidding, right?  
  
Joey: I wish I were. I'm totally done for. CM's gonna report every un- triumph I do! This bites!  
  
Onni: Aw man. I don't wanna hear your baby stories!  
  
Joey: (starts worry) I never thought about that! We have to get rid of him!  
  
Zed: But your dad is nice, right?  
  
Joey: No, he's really strict. He made me do 100 push-ups one time just because I came home from school at 7:00!  
  
Onni: We're in for Antarctica.  
  
Zed: Yep, we sure are.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Poor Joey. Now he's gonna have two dragons breathing down his neck!  
  
l  
  
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v 


	8. Below Freezing Point

Twenty-three reviews! (That's four less than my other YGO story, The Heart of the Kangaroo!). I wanna get AT LEAST thirty reviews for this story. (I actually want fifty but I expect to get at least thirty, if fifty HURRAY!)  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ (The 'faithful' day General Wheeler becomes Commander Wheeler.)  
  
(War History class)  
  
Ciara: Hey Joey.  
  
Joey: Hey.  
  
Ciara: Hey, isn't Wheeler your last name? Are you kinda sorta related to him?  
  
Joey: Yeah. He's my dad.  
  
Ciara: Omigod! For real?  
  
Joey: Yep, it's for real. I don't know what's gotten into my life- first he sends me here and now he sends himself here! What's next, Kaiba's gonna appear behind me and say that he's a Periwinkle Panther?  
  
Kaiba's voice: (taps Joey on the shoulder) (Joey turns around) Wheeler, are you really a Periwinkle Panther? I can't believe it! So am I!  
  
Ciara: Uh, Joey?  
  
Joey: Yup, that's Seto Kaiba.  
  
Ciara: I knew that. I was just gonna say that never say anything that bad about your fate. I can't bear to watch you suffer. Well anway, I see Katherine so I guess I'll see you later. Bye! (runs off to meet up w/ Katherine)  
  
Joey: What's the big idea, Kaiba? You don't need to come to Military School, you should be in full day 'Get-A-Life 101' class back in Domino!  
  
Kaiba: Very funny, Chihuahua. I decided to come because Miss Nguyen gave this for EC.  
  
Joey: Don't bring up that witch's name ever again!  
  
Miss Nguyen: Calling me a witch, are you, Mr. Wheeler? I should talk to your captain about this.  
  
(Joey turns around)  
  
Joey: Miss Nguyen! What are you doing here?  
  
Miss Nguyen: Don't be an idiot, Wheeler. I got a job here just to ruin your life! (laughs evilly)  
  
(P. Panthers' house)  
  
Joey: My luck just seems to get worse and worse by the day!  
  
Onni: What is it this time?  
  
Joey: Well, Seto Kaiba came here and he's a Periwinkle Panther!  
  
Zed: Dude, for real? Where is he; I have to meet him!  
  
Onni: (slaps Zed's arm) Dude, you can't. Kaiba is Joey's ach-rival and worst enemy.  
  
Zed: Right, I knew that. I was just being, uh, what's the word? Oh yeah, enthusiastic!  
  
Joey: That's just part one for the day. Part two is that my evil homeroom teacher came here "just to ruin my life"!  
  
Onni: You mean Miss Nguyen?  
  
Joey: Yeah.  
  
Zed: She's pretty nice, as long as you pay attention.  
  
(CM walks into the room)  
  
CM: OK, cadets. Lights out is in twenty minutes. Round up what you're doing and go to bed. Oh and Cadet Wheeler, the commander wishes to see you.  
  
(CM leaves the room)  
  
(Commander Wheeler's office)  
  
Commander Wheeler: Ah, my son. How are you?  
  
Joey: Uh, well, let's see. I made two friends, Onni and Zed. They're really cool.  
  
Commander Wheeler: Happy to hear about that progress. What about your studies and the obstacle course?  
  
Joey: (in his mind) He knows about my un-progress!  
  
Commander Wheeler: I am not happy with the results. You refuse to pay attention and you move slowly in the obstacle course. Tell me, what do you think the obstacle course as?  
  
Joey: I think of it as a torture labyrinth with monsters running after you and dragons breathing down your neck. I think that many prisoners were released from the dungeons and they rush out of the labyrinth to eat their only meal.  
  
Commander Wheeler: Poetic. tell someone who cares!  
  
Joey: But you said to tell you what I thought of it as and I told you. I think of it as a torture labyrinth.  
  
Commander Wheeler: Do you think negatively of this school?  
  
Joey: Um.  
  
Commander Wheeler: Now that I'm the commander here and also I'm your father, I will push you harder than all of the other cadets. I'm going to expect you to be the best, not wind up in detention or mess hall duties! My next month, I expect progress in everything!  
  
Joey: Can I go now?  
  
Commander Wheeler: Yes.  
  
(P. Panthers' house)  
  
Zed: Are you in trouble?  
  
Joey: Nah. My dad just wanted to talk to me. He said he's gonna push me harder than everyone else here and expects progress in everything by next month!  
  
Onni: Cold.  
  
Joey: Yup, my life has gone way below freezing point.  
  
Onni: Yup, it sure has.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Poor Joey. He just keeps winding up in more bad situations. we've just got to make the thermometer's temp. go up! 


	9. Katherine's Turndown

Two more reviews and I can beat my highest score! I'm assuming I'm gonna get at least thirty-five reviews..  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
(Lunchtime)  
  
Joey: I wonder what's gonna go wrong next?  
  
Onni: Beats me. Maybe Ciara's gonna dump you!  
  
Joey: Hey! Whose side are you on? Besides, Ciara isn't my girlfriend.  
  
Zed: Well you two act like you are around each other.  
  
Joey: We do not!  
  
Onni: Yes you do. hey, maybe she's gonna go for Kaiba!  
  
(Joey whacks Onni in the head)  
  
Joey: Or maybe Katherine's gonna go for Zed!  
  
Zed: Say, that's a pretty swell idea.  
  
Onni: Is not! Katherine is mine!  
  
Zed: Katherine is with Zed. doesn't that just give you a tingly feeling?  
  
Joey and Onni: Uh.  
  
Onni: No.  
  
Zed: Or maybe I can go for Elizabeth!  
  
Onni: Elizabeth who?  
  
Zed: Elizabeth Cordes, Katherine's twin sister!  
  
Onni: She's got a twin?  
  
Joey: Oh, no wonder they called that girl Elizabeth. I just that they called Katherine Elizabeth cause that was her nickname.  
  
Zed: Yeah. She's not as popular, but she's in all of my classes!  
  
Onni: Why don't you ask her to the 'Welcome Captain Wheeler' dance?  
  
Zed: Do you think she'll say yes?  
  
Joey: C'mon, I'll bet you anything she's dying to be asked out by you!  
  
Zed: You really think so?  
  
Joey: Yeah!  
  
Zed: OK, when do I ask her?  
  
Joey: Uh, now.  
  
Zed: OK.  
  
(goes up to Elizabeth)  
  
Zed: Uh, hi Elizabeth.  
  
Elizabeth: Zed? Zed Glenmora?  
  
Zed: Yea, I was just wondering. if y'know, you wanted to, uh, go to the. uh. that dance thingy..  
  
Elizabeth: Really?  
  
Zed: Yeah.  
  
Elizabeth: OK, I'll meet you there.  
  
Zed: Okay, cool.  
  
(runs back to Joey and Onni)  
  
Zed: I have date!  
  
Joey: Yeah, well I'm gonna ask Ciara. at World History class that is.  
  
Onni: Everyone knows whom I'm asking. I'm gonna ask her first period, we both have math with Miss Nguyen.  
  
Joey: Please do not bring that witch's name up ever again!  
  
(First Period- Math w/ Miss Nguyen)  
  
Onni: Hey, Katherine.  
  
Katherine: Hi Onni.  
  
Onni: I was wondering if you had a date to the dance????  
  
Katherine: Um, you know what? I'm gonna be a little busy on the day of the dance, so I don't think I can make it. I'm really sorry.  
  
Onni: No, that's fine. I mean- we're still a couple right?  
  
Katherine: Uh huh, sure.  
  
Onni: Okay then catch ya later!  
  
Katherine: Okay. bye.  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
Hold up! Why'd Katherine turn Onni down? Is she really busy? Don't people make plans to NOT BE BUSY on the day of the dance? Well, they should! Review! 


	10. The Truth

So, why did Katherine turn Onni down.?  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
(P. Panthers' House)  
  
Joey: Yo, wassup?  
  
Onni: N-nothing.  
  
Zed: Nah! "N-nothing!" means something is wrong.  
  
Joey: C'mon, Onni- spill the beans.  
  
Onni: Okay, fine. I asked Katherine to the dance, but she said she was busy, and so she sorta turned me down.  
  
Zed: Did she state why?  
  
Onni: Sort of. She said she was busy. I mean, who's busy on a Friday? Especially on the day of a dance!  
  
Joey: Well, she could be.  
  
Zed: Well yeah- I mean she weirder than Elizabeth.  
  
Onni: No. Katherine's the popular one-  
  
Zed: Dude, chill out! It's just my opinion!  
  
Onni: Something's gotta be wrong with her. whatever it is, I'm gonna find out and save her!  
  
Joey: OK, now you're creeping me out! You're not a superhero; the only superhero in this neighbourhood is Spider-Man!  
  
(Onni and Zed stare at Joey) *Blink, blink*  
  
Zed: Uh. was that supposed to be funny?  
  
Joey: I guess.  
  
(Math with Miss Nguyen, before the rings)  
  
Onni: Hi Katherine. I wanted to ask you something.  
  
Katherine: Sure. Go ahead.  
  
Onni: What're you exactly busy with?  
  
Katherine: Um, uh. Uh. you see, it's this. thing. and, uh, you. you. read. a book!  
  
Onni: Can't you read the book on Saturday?  
  
Katherine: That's a good question. you see. my Aunt Dorothy died and I promised I'd read her favourite book by Friday in memory of her!  
  
Onni: If so, why's your sister going with Zed?  
  
Katherine: Lizzie never really cared for Aunt Dorothy. So Mom and Dad said she was grounded for a month after she came home.  
  
Onni: Right. Well okay, then. See ya later.  
  
Katherine: OK.  
  
Onni: Oh yeah, I'm really sorry about your Aunt Dorothy.  
  
Katherine: Thanks.  
  
(On the day of the dance.)  
  
Zed: Onni, don't be so bummed out!  
  
Joey: Yeah. Give the girl some time. Her aunt died and so she's a little upset.  
  
Elizabeth: (pops up behind Zed) Hey guys!  
  
Zed: Oh, hi Elizabeth.  
  
Elizabeth: Hey, OK lemme guess who you two are... OK, (points at Joey) You're Onni and (points at Onni) you're Joey! But y'know, Onni, you look more like a Joey and Joey looks more like an Onni.  
  
Joey: That's because we are.  
  
Elizabeth: Oh, OK. Sorry about that.  
  
Onni: Oh, Lizzie. I'm sorry about you Aunt Dorothy.  
  
Lizzie: Aunt Dorothy? I don't have an Aunt Dorothy.  
  
Onni: Are you sure? Katherine said she died and that's why she couldn't make it. She had to read her favourite book in memory of her; she said you didn't care much for her.  
  
Lizzie: We're not related to anyone to anyone named Dorothy. And the last time someone died was when Katie and I were only five, and our Great-Aunt Martha died.  
  
(Ciara comes over to them)  
  
Ciara: Hey, Joey. Hey guys. Hi, Elizabeth.  
  
Lizzie: Hey, Ciara.  
  
Ciara: Oh, Onni, Katherine's here.  
  
Onni: Really? Where?  
  
Ciara: You don't wanna know, but okay. She's by the punch bowl. with someone else.  
  
Onni: You're pulling my leg, right?  
  
Ciara: I wish I were.  
  
Onni: Who's she with?  
  
Ciara: It's too horrible to say; go look for yourself.  
  
(Onni walks over the punch bowl)  
  
(*gasp* She's flirting with.)  
  
Onni: KAIBA!?  
  
Katherine: *gasps* Onni!  
  
Onni: You said you Aunt Dorothy died and Lizzie said you're not related to anyone named Dorothy. You lied!  
  
Katherine: Onni, I'm really sorry, but you're not my romantic type anymore. You're just like a friend to me now.  
  
Onni: Why didn't you just say that in the first place? Maybe I wouldn't be so mad!  
  
(Onni turns on his heel & leaves the dance)  
  
Joey: Ciara, hold on I've gotta go see if Onni's okay. C'mon Zed.  
  
Zed: Okay.  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
THAT GIRL IS PURE EVIL! 


	11. Revenge

How dare she!? After Onni's done so much for her!  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@  
  
(P. Panthers' House)  
  
Joey: You okay?  
  
Onni: It depends on how you define OK.  
  
Zed: It's not too bad. hey! I can dump Lizzie if you want me to!  
  
Onni: No, it's okay. I just can't believe it! How can she do this? She could've just said it instead of lying!  
  
Joey: Y'know, either ay you'd be bummed out.  
  
Onni: You have a point there.  
  
Zed: It's no big deal; that's why I've always said that Elizabeth was the better twin.  
  
Onni: Excuse me? You were after Katherine before you suggested Lizzie yourself!  
  
Joey: What do you say we go back to the dance?  
  
Zed & Onni: OK!  
  
(back at the Dance)  
  
Joey: We can leave if you still feel bad.  
  
Onni: Nah. I'm gonna find a new date- right here, right now.  
  
Joey: Why? To make Katherine jealous?  
  
Onni: You're really catching on to my games! *wink wink*  
  
Joey: That's a good thing, right?  
  
Onni: Uh-huh.  
  
(Onni looks around for a girl)  
  
Zed: (whispers to Joey) He's not gonna find one today.  
  
Joey: (whispers back) Doubt it. he's having bad luck today.  
  
(Onni sees Katherine and Kaiba dancing)  
  
(Katherine notices Onni and smiles at him)  
  
(Onni notices Katherine's smile at him and turns away)  
  
(Onni goes back to Joey and Zed)  
  
Onni: I have an idea to get back at Kaiba.  
  
Joey: Really? What is it?  
  
Onni: We'll have a dueling tournament!  
  
Zed: That's a swell idea! I know a lot of people here who duel!  
  
Onni: OK.  
  
Joey: But what're we gonna call it?  
  
Onni: Uh..  
  
Joey: It has to be mysterious, like Duelist Kingdom. Or it can be deep and dark, like Battle City.  
  
Onni: How about.  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
Do you have an idea? If I really like it, it'll be on the next chapter and I'll credit you for it! No, actually, I'll credit you for it throughout the rest of the story! (BTW, I apoligise if this chapter was a little short!) 


	12. The Mission

So what did Onni name the new HBMA duelist tournament? Well keep reading if you wanna know!  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
Onni: How about Disaster Dimension?  
  
Joey: Um.  
  
Zed: I like it!  
  
Joey: Yeah, but you see, uh, we can only call it that if we can take them to a different dimension.  
  
Zed: Which we can't  
  
Joey: Besides, I hate magic.  
  
Zed: Doesn't Duel Monsters work with magic?  
  
Joey: *gasps* Dude, I never thought about that! But if it is, I'll have to go back to being a janitor at Burger World!  
  
Onni: We don't have a Burger World here.  
  
Joey: Really?  
  
Zed: Yeah. Burger World's a Domino company.  
  
Joey: Yo, that's tight!  
  
Onni: You're not thinking what I'm thinking?  
  
Joey: Oh no- we're not gonna call the duelist tournament Burger World!  
  
Zed: Why not? It's different, not to mention unique!  
  
Joey: Yeah, 'unique' in a goofy way.  
  
Onni: Yeah well it's better than nothing.  
  
Joey: There're times when you need a friend with brains.  
  
Zed: What about me? I got all A's on my progress report!  
  
Onni: You look at your progress reports?  
  
Joey: We have progress reports?  
  
Zed: Duh. Don't you wanna know how you do on your studies?  
  
Onni: No.  
  
Joey: Of course not! After I got sent here, I'm vowed I wouldn't look at any type of school paper with the word 'report' in it!  
  
Onni: Besides, we mean creative, not geeky.  
  
Zed: Hey! I'm not a geek! So anyway, who're we gonna ask?  
  
Joey: Hey, I can E-mail my friend Yugi and ask him! he's smart- in both directions and he's a great duelist. He won first place in Duel-  
  
Onni: Joe, we've heard it a million times.  
  
Zed: I didn't! What happened?  
  
Joey: I'll tell you later. so where're the computers?  
  
Onni: It's a difficult task. Only the captains, teachers, and the commander own a computer.  
  
Joey: (a light bulb goes off in Joey's head) What if we sneak into Captain M's room and send Yugi an e-mail?  
  
Onni: We? What do you mean we?  
  
Joey: 'We' as if in us- you, me, and Zed- the trio.  
  
Onni: Make that duo for this mission. I'm not risking being expelled.  
  
Zed: You can get expelled from here? Geez, I didn't know that. I thought you were being punished if you were being sent here.  
  
Onni: You can, if they can't stand you.  
  
Zed: Joey, there's gonna be a one-o, I can't manage to be expelled. Mum will totally freak; also, it's escape from my twin brother and sister, the Disaster Duo, Dory and Duke.  
  
Onni: Your sister's named after a fish?  
  
Zed: No. Mum just likes the name Dory.  
  
Joey: Guys, let's not talk about 'Finding Nemo'. I need to know where CM's room is and when he goes to sleep and how often he hangs in his room.  
  
Onni: He goes to sleep around eleven thirty, but he comes to his room at about ten o' clock.  
  
Joey: Curfew's at nine, or maybe I could go during detention, when he's eating dinner.  
  
Zed: That's not a bad idea, but how're you gonna get Yugi to e-mail you back?  
  
Joey: That's a good question. I'll tell him to e-mail me ASAP and I'll check back until my detention's over.  
  
Onni: Are you really willing to risk everything just to get the perfect Duel Monsters tournament name?  
  
Joey: It's not just a tournament name, it's a plot to get revenge on Kaiba.  
  
Onni: You ever defeated him before?  
  
Joey: No, but it's worth a try. And you, Onni, you've got a super-deck, almost all of your monsters have over 2000 attack points. Power and skill are the two major things you need to beat Kaiba and from how you duel and from how I see your cards, you'll be unstoppable.  
  
Zed: What about me?  
  
Joey: (scratches his head) We'll go to the Kirei Game Shop on Sunday and you can buy some cards.  
  
Onni: (changes subject) So, when does your plan take action?  
  
Joey: I'm thinking tomorrow. I have detention all week.  
  
Zed: So, what do you guys say about going back to the dance?  
  
Onni: I guess we could, as long as we avoid Kaiba.  
  
Joey: And Katherine?  
  
Onni: Oh yeah, Kaiba and Katherine.  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
That's kinda scary. Is it really worth it to risk everything just for a duelist tournament name? Also, I'm sorry if I didn't name the tournament yet. But the good news is that it's not too late to send in your name, I'll need at least 3. So far I only have one from ACME-Rian (Gladiator Arena) and Calcifer couldn't think of one (thanks for trying, though!). Another question, do you guys wanna know more about Onni, Zed, the Cordes twins, Ciara and everyone else? If so, just tell me in your review and I'll find a way to write more about them. Ciao! 


	13. Character Profiles

Hey, this really isn't a part of the story--- it's just more information about some of the characters that you probably want to know more about.  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
Onni Spearitt Age: 15 Physical appearance: Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Brown Hairstyle: Similar to Aoshi's (from Rurouni Kenshin and the bangs don't cover his eyes) Height: somewhere around 5'5" Quote: "No, only the tall, tough-looking ones."  
  
Onni is usually a happy-go-lucky and friendly type of guy. He tends to take some things a little bit too personally or seriously. Otherwise, he's really jolly and helpful. After Katherine went with Kaiba, he notes Kaiba as a worst enemy (both compete for Katherine). Onni attended HBMA for two years and still can't excel in the obstacle course!  
  
Zed Glenmora  
  
Age: 16 Physical appearance: Hair colour: Black Eye colour: Blue Hairstyle: a bunch of spikes (not the punky way!) Height: 6'1" Quote: "I can't believe I'm meeting a real duelist!"  
  
Zed isn't as sly as Joey or intelligent as Onni, but he's a great friend. (It said he gets A's, but hat's just because he studies hard) He's the tallest of the three and dreams of playing in the NBA. He's half-English and that's why he calls his mother 'mum'. He comes from a big family and that's a reason he's so responsible and caring.  
  
Ciara Thomas  
  
Age: 15 Physical Appearance: Hair colour: Blonde Eye colour: Green Hairstyle: shoulder length, straight Height: 5'4 ½" Quote: "It happens to everyone, even me."  
  
Ciara is friends with Katherine and that makes her second most popular girl in all of HBMA. She got sent to HBMA because her foster family couldn't take responsibility of her and paid for a five-year stay at HBMA. She hides another secret from her peeps but you won't find out the secret until a few chapters!  
  
Katherine Cordes  
  
Age: 15  
  
Physical Appearance  
  
Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Blue Hairstyle: straight, a little bit below the shoulders Quote: "I prefer not to be popular."  
  
Katherine is the most popular girl in all of HBMA (followed by Ciara) but she acts as if she's a nobody. Elizabeth is her twin sister. Katherine never understood why she became popular, she assumes it's because she pulled a prank on a captain when she first came and blamed it on her captain and she got her captain fired. Soon everyone found out the truth.  
  
Elizabeth Cordes  
  
Age: 15 Physical appearance: Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Blue (sometimes wears glasses) Hairstyle: just like Katherine's but it's curly Quote: "I should be the one who's popular- Katherine prefers not to."  
  
Elizabeth is Katherine's twin sister, but she isn't as popular (even though it's Elizabeth who prefers it!). Many people say she's weird, but that's just gossip. She's actually a lot like Ciara. The teacher's like to mess around with her and Katherine because they think it's "adorable" when she and Katherine have their little arguments.  
  
Captain McIntosh  
  
Age: 21 Physical appearance: Hair colour: Black Eye colour: Brown Hairstyle: you can't tell, he's always wearing one of those stupid army hats Quote: "MOVE IT, WHEELER!"  
  
Captain McIntosh is a mean, bossy, and loud person. He takes pity on no one but himself. Everyone in his family does something military-related, may it be serve in it, be a nurse, become a general, or just become a high- achiever in a military school. His grandfather was the commander two terms before Commander Drake and he's working his way up to being the youngest HBMA Commander in history.  
  
Commander Wheeler (Phillip Wheeler III)  
  
Age: pretty old Physical Appearance: Hair colour: Grey Eye colour: Hazel Hairstyle: the normal old man's hairstyle (similar to Gorge W. Bush's hairstyle.) Quote: Let me take a moment to pretend I care. glad that's over with!  
  
Commander Wheeler is the "strict, ruthless, and evil" father Joey always complains about. He puts a little too much pressure on Joey to be the best, but he wants to prove to everyone that Joey isn't a big dork. Commander Wheeler can be a really funny guy too, despite his bossy attitude. He loves to play videogames and he even collects a few Duel Monsters cards (to be viewed in one of the future chapters)!  
  
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	14. Bravery Can Lead to the Worst of Things

Hey everybody! Sorry it took so long to update. I was occupied in writing the first two chapters of my RK fic-Shinta's Return. But I'm updating again and that's all that counts!  
  
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Some kid: The dance will end in an hour!  
  
(No one seems to care!)  
  
Joey: Look at Kaiba, all flirtatious and stuff like that!  
  
Onni: I wanna give 'em a piece of my mind!  
  
Joey: I wouldn't do that if I were you. He punches hard.  
  
Onni: That's true.  
  
Zed: I'm hungry-I'm gonna get some food.  
  
Joey: So am I. Wanna come Onni?  
  
Onni: Nah.  
  
Zed: OK.  
  
(Zed and Joey leave Onni)  
  
(Katherine comes to Onni)  
  
Katherine: Hi, Onni.  
  
Onni: What do you want? Why don't you just go ask Stupid Kaiba over there?  
  
Katherine: I really have to talk to you. I want to make things clear-  
  
Onni: What? Make things clear that I'm not rich enough to go out with you?  
  
Katherine: Will you just listen to me?  
  
(Onni rolls his eyes and stares at her)  
  
Katherine: I didn't want to go with Kaiba. I actually wanted to come with you.  
  
Onni: (softens a bit) So why did you come with Kaiba?  
  
Katherine: Because he threatened me. Blackmailed, actually.  
  
Onni: (scared) What did he say?  
  
Katherine: He said. it's a family thing and I don't know how he found out, but only Elizabeth and I know. He said that he'll tell the whole school the so-called secret if I didn't go with him.  
  
Onni: Katherine, that's illegal. You should've told your captain or Commander Wheeler.  
  
Katherine: It's not that easy. He has a threat for everything.  
  
Onni: We're gonna get back at him. It's a top secret plan so only Joey, Zed, and I know it. You'll find out soon.  
  
(Katherine hugs Onni)  
  
Katherine: You're the best!  
  
(Onni turns pink)  
  
Kaiba: KATHERINE?  
  
Katherine: Seto!  
  
Kaiba: What are you doing?  
  
Katherine: I- I- I..  
  
Onni: It's okay, Katherine. You go find Ciara and Elizabeth; I'll take over from here.  
  
Katherine: OK. (Katherine leaves)  
  
Onni: Kaiba, you're a criminal of a billionaire.  
  
Kaiba: She told you?  
  
Onni: She did, bozo. Got a problem with that?  
  
Kaiba: Yes. In fact I do. Katherine doesn't deserve to go out with a punk like you. She deserves the best someone like me.  
  
Onni: Well she likes me. wait-does Mr. Kaiba have a problem with that too?  
  
Kaiba: Keep your mouth shut, Spearitt. You know I'm right, you're just too scared to prove it.  
  
Onni: Want a bet? Tomorrow, after Religion class, the gym. You and I are gonna duel.  
  
Kaiba: So you want to make a fool out of yourself. I have no problem with that. I suppose I'll see you then.  
  
(Kaiba leaves Onni)  
  
Onni (in his head) Great! What did you get yourself into? 


	15. Onni: The BuffoonToBe

*sniff sniff* I'm too sad to write! My grandma from Bangladesh called and gave us some bad and sad news! ---- My grandfather died! WAHHH! I never really shared any memories with him either!  
  
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(Periwinkle Panthers' house- thirty minutes before midnight)  
  
Joey: You what?  
  
Onni: (soft) Kinda challenged him to a duel?  
  
Joey: Kinda challenged him to a duel!  
  
Zed: Are you nuts? Do you realise what can happen?  
  
Onni: Actually, yeah. I realised if I lose, I'll become the Buffoon of HBMA.  
  
Joey: You're wanting to be a buffoon? (still confused)  
  
Onni: He was blackmailing Katherine! He was scaring her-  
  
Joey: We realised that, but what about you?  
  
Zed: Yeah. If you lose, you'll let me, Joey, and Katherine down. And he'll take Katherine from you. Just withdraw your challenge.  
  
Onni: I can't! He'll think I'm a chicken!  
  
Joey: I'd rather be a chicken than be called a Chihuahua by Kaiba and lose my girls.  
  
Zed: Joey?  
  
Joey: Yeah?  
  
Zed: You're the Chihuahua.  
  
(Chibi Joey and Chibi Zed)  
  
*Chibi Joey whacks Chibi Zed with a hammer*  
  
Chibi Zed: Ow!  
  
Chibi Joey: Ya don't have to rub it in!  
  
Chibi Onni: *sweat drop*  
  
(end Chibi-zone)  
  
(Joey gives Zed a dirty look)  
  
Zed: But you are!  
  
Joey: Whatever.  
  
Onni: So what can we do?  
  
(JOZ [Joey, Onni and Zed] thinks)  
  
Zed: Play a prank?  
  
Onni: Zed, I think that's the most brilliant idea you've ever had!  
  
Zed: Really? Since when?  
  
Onni: Since the day you were born.  
  
Zed: (frowns)  
  
Joey: What kind of prank?  
  
Onni: I think I have an idea.  
  
Joey: What is it?  
  
(Danny comes back from the dance)  
  
Danny: Yo, Panthers!  
  
Joey: What up, Danny?  
  
Danny: Did ya'll hear? Some buffoon-to-be challenged Kaiba to a duel!  
  
Onni: (mumbles) That buffoon-to-be, Danny, is ME!  
  
Danny: Well, I'm gonna go change, but when I get back, I'm going to sleep so you three had better round up your conversation!  
  
Joey: OK. Take your time.  
  
(Danny leaves the dorms)  
  
Zed: So what was the plan?  
  
(Onni begins to whisper)  
  
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I think I actually managed to make it funny, even though I'm still crying! Maybe some reviews will make me feel better.. (*hint*) 


	16. Kaiba the Chicken!

Hey! I still feel pretty crabby, but I FINALLY got a name for the new duelist tournament! I won't tell you. now. You'll have to read and find out!  
  
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Zed: I like it!  
  
Joey: Brilliant!  
  
Onni: It's tomorrow, after religion class.  
  
Zed: My religion class ends fiftheen minutes before you!  
  
Joey: Really? What are you?  
  
Zed: Jewish. Our Rabbi lets us leave early.  
  
Joey: Lucky you. I've never really been to church before. The only thing I know of is God, Jesus, Christmas, and Easter.  
  
(Zed and Onni--- *blink blink*)  
  
Zed: Okay.. Anyway, maybe I can set up the prank scene, that way we won't have to worry afterward.  
  
Onni: Sounds good to me.  
  
Joey: Ditto.  
  
(Saturday--- Kaiba walks into the gym.)  
  
(Kaiba opens the door and a big glob of molasses fall on him)  
  
Kaiba: *gapes*  
  
(Onni and Zed turn the fans on and feathers start to blow in Kaiba's direction!)  
  
(Kaiba tries to run but Joey and Zed block both the doors)  
  
(Onni shows up from behind Kaiba)  
  
Onni: Interesting outfit, Kaiba. Is this what you wear to every duel? Impressive, you're more of a buffoon than I thought you were! (turns to Joey) He does wear this to every duel right Joey?  
  
Joey Yep.  
  
Zed: You duel looking like a chicken! (laughs) No wonder Joey chases after you-the dog always chases the chicken!  
  
(Kaiba, Joey, and Onni stare at Zed)  
  
Zed: What? Onni took all of the good lines!  
  
Onni: Still wanna duel Kaiba?  
  
Kaiba: (gets his deck out and sees that all of his cards are stuck together) How dare you?  
  
(JOZ laugh and high-five each other)  
  
Joey: It's the Star Tournament way!  
  
Kaiba: Star Tournament?  
  
Zed: (gasps) You don't know about Star Tournament? It's the hottest new dueling craze to sweep HBMA!  
  
Onni: Oh, wait, Zed. Kaiba doesn't know because he's not invited yet! I dunno, should we invite 'em?  
  
Joey: I don't know. After all, the Star Tournament is a jerk-free event.  
  
Kaiba: You'd better invite me!  
  
JOZ: Beg.  
  
Kaiba: What?  
  
Joey: You heard us, beg!  
  
Zed: -on your knees!  
  
Onni: - and plead with all your heart!  
  
Kaiba: Make me!  
  
Joey: OK. I guess you don't want your invite.  
  
Kaiba: OK, fine! I'll do it! (Kaiba gets on his knees and begs) Oh, please Joey, Onni, and Zed! Please invite me to your duelist tournament!  
  
Onni: Now that's a good chicken!  
  
Zed: I guess you won't be dinner after all!  
  
(Joey gives Kaiba his invite)  
  
Joey: Everyone's meeting at the obstacle course tomorrow after lunch. Be late, and you'll miss out on a lot.  
  
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Kaiba the Chicken! HAHAHAHA! 


	17. YUGI!

Ciao everyone! It's a pity that no one really noticed my sixtheenth chapter of this story. it's always the funniest if you read it recently after it was updated! Ah well. I know Star Tournament probably isn't the best name ever, but my friend thought of it and she makes it sound cool!  
  
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Kaiba: Thanks for the invite. However, I can't walk out here looking like this.  
  
Joey: Maybe you can fly. (Blows a feather at Kaiba)  
  
Onni: Well, Kaiba, that's not our problem. Right now, we have some ST Rule Books to print!  
  
Zed: Happy flying!  
  
(JOZ leave)  
  
(HBMA Media Centre)  
  
Zed: 989, 990.  
  
Onni: We need ten more. We've invited at least a thousand students.  
  
Joey: (pushes a button on the copy machine) one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!  
  
Onni: (checks his watch) We have exactly thirty minutes to get everything ready.  
  
(Obstacle course)  
  
Zed: (stacks the rulebooks in a nice and neat stack) Did we invite the captains?  
  
Joey: I invited CM. I decided he's the first person I'm gonna duel.  
  
Onni: I'm dueling Kaiba.  
  
Zed: I don't know. who should I duel?  
  
Onni: Hm. how about.  
  
A familiar voice: Hey, Joey!  
  
(JOZ turn around and to their surprise, they see-)  
  
Joey: Yugi!  
  
Yugi: Hi, I just arrived here a few minutes ago-  
  
Joey: So I guess you know that my dad's the commander.  
  
Yugi: Yeah. I didn't know he was into the army thing. I thought you said he was gambler.  
  
Joey: Who told you that?  
  
Yugi: Tristan.  
  
Joey: (frowns) You know better than to listen to that idiot. so what group are you in?  
  
Yugi: (looks at a piece of paper) I'm a. Freckled Cheetah; what're you?  
  
Joey: Periwinkle Panther.  
  
Yugi: Aw man.  
  
Onni: Hey, Jo, are you gonna intro us to your pal here?  
  
Joey: Oh, right. Yugi, this is Onni and Zed; Onni and Zed, this is Yugi.  
  
(Yugi, Onni and Zed exchange hi's)  
  
Yugi: So what are you three doing?  
  
Onni: We're preparing for our big dueling tournament-  
  
Yugi: Out here? Shouldn't you be inside building your decks?  
  
Zed: No. Actually, the three of us started this tournament. It's called the Star Tournament.  
  
Yugi: Cool. do you guys need help?  
  
Joey: Not really. (looks around) but you can grab a rulebook and read through it.  
  
Yugi: OK. (Takes a rulebook and starts reading it)  
  
(Fiftheen minutes later.)  
  
Yugi: The loser of the duel will be slimed with molasses!?  
  
Onni: You like it? It was my idea!  
  
Yugi: (laughs) Yeah, but what if one of us loses?  
  
Zed: Oh well, at least we'll taste good!  
  
Yugi: Yeah, I guess you're right.  
  
(Lunch bell rings)  
  
Joey: Well that's the lunch bell! See ya later, Yug!  
  
Yugi: C ya!  
  
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Did ya'll like it???? I think Joey's lucky that Yugi suddenly arrived. Kaiba's gonna really mad! 


	18. First Kiss

What up???? Nothin' much here, I'm just sitting here, typing away--- `o` BTW, did you guys see YGO Enter the Shadow Realm???? Man, I was screaming my head off at the TV, but I got myself grounded for that--- ah well at least I'm not grounded form the computer!!!  
  
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Joey: (talking thru a mike on a high platform) Hey duelists? How're you guys doing? --- OK, this isn't a talk show, but it is the intro to the hottest event to ever come to Holly Berry Military Academy-  
  
Onni: (whisper) Joey, it's HOLLAN Berry---  
  
Joey: Oh, that's right! (*Sweat drop*) it's the hottest event to ever come to Hollan Berry Military Academy!  
  
(The crowd cheers)  
  
Onni: (takes over the mike) And this so-called event is the Star Tournament! That's right, it's a duelist tournament, and there isn't gonna be another for millenniums round!  
  
Zed: (his turn to speak---) The tournaments gonna take place on the weekends. Saturdays after Religion class and on Sundays after lunch! The tournament, of course, won't start until next week so if you don't have duel monsters, get 'em today so you can be in the---  
  
JOZ: STAR TOURNAMENT!  
  
Onni: Be sure to grab a rulebook on your way out!  
  
(Crowd stands there and stares)  
  
Joey: Uh--- we said you could go---  
  
Crowd: (*blink blink*)  
  
Zed: Oh yeah! Any questions?  
  
(A million hands shoot up)  
  
Onni: Um, okay people--- stay calm--- OK, you know what? Here's what we're gonna do--- you guys can up and talk to us LATER about your questions, K?  
  
Zed: Also, try reading the rulebook, it'll answer millions and billions and quadrillions of your questions!  
  
(Finally, the crowd leaves)  
  
(Onni jumps off the platform to met up with Katherine)  
  
Onni: Yo.  
  
Katherine: Onni, it's genius! You're so smart!  
  
Onni: Huh?  
  
Katherine: This is your plan to get back at Kaiba, right?  
  
Onni: Oh, yeah, that's right!  
  
(Onni and Katherine hug [not friendly, but y'know, the other way--- ew!])  
  
Zed: (Brit accent) Cute couple---  
  
Onni: (Lets go of Katherine) Shut up, Zed.  
  
(Joey and Ciara.)  
  
Ciara: Joey, that's so cool! I can't wait to start dueling--- but you won't bother to challenge me, right?  
  
Joey: Of course not! I'm focusing on Captain McIntosh and Kaiba! What about you?  
  
Ciara: Dunno.  
  
Joey: How about one of the Cordes twins?  
  
Ciara: Nah. Both of them are my friends, it hurts to see me hurt them---  
  
Joey: You're a good friend, Ciara, E and K are very lucky to have you for a friend--- and I'm lucky to know you---  
  
(Next move is very sudden- Joey takes Ciara in his arms and *ahem* kisses *cough cough* her--)  
  
(Joey pulls away in about ten seconds; Ciara stares at Joey in amazement)  
  
Ciara: *blink blink*  
  
Joey: Gotta go now- I have to strengthen my deck!  
  
(Joey runs away)  
  
(Back to Onni and Katherine)  
  
Katherine: Awww, wasn't that sweet of Joey? (Dropping hints to Onni)  
  
Onni: Not really.  
  
Katherine: (mumbles) Boys--- don't you think we're ready yet?  
  
Onni: Aw man!  
  
(Onni and Katherine do the same thing Joey and Ciara did---)  
  
(They didn't pull away until a minute or two---)  
  
(Kaiba watches from nearby and he's boiling up)  
  
Kaiba: You just wait, Spearitt. You just wait.  
  
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Awww, wasn't that sweet? (Not the Kaiba part, that was just 'so totally Kaiba!) I'm gonna buy two hearts. On one, I'm gonna carve JW + CT and I'm gonna carve OS + KC on the other!!!!!  
  
BTW, does anyone know how to upload some of the text in Italics???? Please tell me if you know how! 


	19. Catching Up

Nope. No way, uh-uh. I doubt this story's anywhere near finished. Actually, I think I we're only halfway through. This story will probably last until Christmas, or Thanksgiving--- *shrugs* Oh well, the longer it lasts, the more reviews I get!  
  
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(Monday--- Breakfast)  
  
Mess hall food server person: Ok, son, what do you want?  
  
(Joey stares at the choices)  
  
Joey: Um, I guess I'll have some oatmeal (a/n: Did I mention it's around November for them too?).  
  
(Food server person gives him a bowl of oatmeal and Joey moves on)  
  
Joey: (knows what to ask for next) Juice please!  
  
(Juice giver person puts a carton of milk on Joey's tray instead)  
  
Joey: Uh, Mr. Juice Giver Guy? I asked for juice, not milk.  
  
Juice Giver Guy: Sorry, son. You gotta have milk. Anyway, it's good for overall skeletal health, and your dad ordered too many last week.  
  
Joey: (groans) Dad! --- So then can I have chocolate milk?  
  
Juice Giver Guy: Nope sorry. Your dad told me you have too much sugar. He fears you'll get diabetes.  
  
Joey: Well that totally wumps---  
  
Danny: (behind Joey) Is this gonna take all day, Wheeler?  
  
(Joey moves on)  
  
(A minute later--- Joey takes a seat between Onni and Zed)  
  
Zed: You got stuck with milk too?  
  
Joey: Yep. Moreover, it's unflavoured!  
  
Onni: That's cold.  
  
Joey: Guess who told 'em I couldn't have chocolate milk?  
  
Onni: Your dad?  
  
Joey: You know me too well---  
  
(3rd period-Math with Miss Nguyen for Joey, Zed, and Yugi)  
  
Joey: Yo, Yugi! Over here! (Points to a seat between him and Zed)  
  
Yugi: Hi, Joey. Hey Zed.  
  
Zed: (half paying attention 'cos he's studying for a math test) Yo---  
  
(Yugi stares down at the teacher)  
  
Yugi: Say, Jo, isn't that Miss Nguyen, our Miss Nguyen from Domino?  
  
Joey: Yeah. Says she came here to ruin my life.  
  
Yugi: Yeah, she never exactly "liked" you and Tristan-  
  
Joey: Hey, how are they doing?  
  
Yugi: Hmm, let's see--- Tea got enrolled into DC Encore Dance School of Ballet---  
  
Joey: That's great!  
  
Yugi: Yeah-oh! Bakura sold his Millennium Ring to the museum; he said something about the Ring being too evil and powerful for him---  
  
Joey: For how much?  
  
Yugi: $5000.  
  
Joey: Pretty good price---  
  
Yugi: And Tristan--- I'm not sure you exactly want to know about him---  
  
Joey: Why?  
  
Yugi: Well--- please don't explode--- he and Serenity are going out-  
  
Joey: WHAT!?  
  
(The whole class stares at Joey)  
  
Miss Nguyen: Joey, you just got yourself a week's worth detention.  
  
(Joey ignores Miss Nguyen)  
  
Joey: (tries to calms down) Since when?  
  
Yugi: After you left. Tristan decided it would be his best chance to ask your sister out; to everyone's surprise she said yes.  
  
Joey: Remind me to kill him when I get back.  
  
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Ooh, that got Joey by a big surprise (Tristan and Serenity DO NOT make a good couple, but I had to make that way so Joey would explode!) See the purple-blue button that says 'go'? Click on it, it's your friend! 


	20. Joey vs Captain McIntosh

I am in such a bad mood! Golly gee, I have to memorise a part of the Declaration of Independence and all I know is---- and for free and Independent States they have power to levy war, conclude Peace, reform (?) Alliances.. I hate it!  
  
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(Friday night, night before the first day of the Star Tournament...)  
  
Zed: Is it too late to back out of this?  
  
Joey: Don't you wanna duel someone?  
  
Zed: I'm just kinda.. Well, freaked out..  
  
Onni: More like chickening out!  
  
Joey: Why are you so scared?  
  
Zed: Everyone I've talked has really good cards and strategies. I barely know anything about duel monsters!  
  
Joey: You watched a few, haven't you?  
  
Zed: One or two.  
  
Joey: Good enough. All you have to do is find a sucker, they're real easy to beat, and from that, you'll duel stronger duelists!  
  
Zed: Do we have any suckers in this tournament?  
  
Onni: We should.. Like how about Adam Hall?  
  
Zed: Who?  
  
Onni: Adam Hall, y'know, the unnoticed geek in out Literature, War History and Religion classes? Wears big round glasses and reads books about bugs all the time.  
  
Zed: Oh, him. Was he invited?  
  
Joey: The whole school was.  
  
Zed: I guess I'll have to start somewhere.  
  
Onni: Guess so..  
  
(The next morning--- the *Star Tournament*)  
  
Joey: YO! Just a brief announcement, the molasses are fresh out of the oven, I think, so the losers gonna taste good and might burn themselves a bit!  
  
(Joey gets off the platform)  
  
Onni: LET THE DUELS BEGIN!  
  
(Everyone flees around the obstacle course challenging and stuff)  
  
Joey: Yo, McIntosh! I challenge you to a duel!  
  
(CM looks back at Joey)  
  
CM: Wheeler, how bad do you think I am?  
  
Joey: (gets his deck out) Very.  
  
CM: All right, but I go first.  
  
Joey: Fine. I'm gonna win anyway.  
  
(a/n: I probably won't remember all of Joey's cards, so I'm gonna add some of my own in!)  
  
(The duel)  
  
**CM- 3500 LP  
  
**Joey- 3500 LP  
  
CM: All right, I play Air Eater in attack mode and I'll put a card facedown. That's all for now.  
  
Joey: OK. I'll put a monster facedown in defense mode, put these two cards face down and play Mr. Volcano in attack mode!  
  
CM: I activate Sword of the Deep-seated and equip Air Eater with it! For that, Air Eater gains 500 attack points! Now, Air Eater, attack Wheeler's Mr. Volcano!  
  
(Air Eater attacks Mr. Volcano and Mr. Volcano dissolves)  
  
**CM- 3500  
  
**Joey- 3000  
  
(CM smirks)  
  
CM: I guess you're not so good after all!  
  
Joey: Shut your mouth, McIntosh! That was just the beginning, I've got a plan up my sleeve and it's gonna get you big time!  
  
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I can't believe it! I'm actually writing little duels! I used to hate the thought of writing about duels cause I thought it was too hard! I guess it's no after all! Oh yeah, remember, the blue=purple button that says 'Go' is your friend! 


	21. And the Winner Is

OH MY GOD! How long has it been since I updated? I am SO sorry, readers, very sorry. However, I have very good explanation about why I took so long. You see, I needed a card guide to find the cards Joey and CM duel with, and I was gonna write chapter 20 {or was it 19- maybe 21?} the very next day- BUT I had to return the card guide to the library! So yesterday, I went to the library and got another guide along with some other books like Freaky Friday . . . you don't really care, do you? Ok, well here's the story!  
  
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Joey: (in his mind) So what's my super-duper plan anyway?  
  
(Joey draws his card and it's..)  
  
Joey: All right! Now we're cookin'! I play Barrel Dragon in attack mode- but that's not all! I activate one of my face down cards! I activate Black Pendant! (A/N: I know a machine wearing a pendant is kinda stupid, but it makes the monster really strong!) And now, my Barrel Dragon's stronger than your Air Eater by uh..  
  
(Joey counts in his head for a while)  
  
Joey: 400 attack points!  
  
CM: Why don't you go back to first grade, stupid? He's stronger than 500 attack points!  
  
Joey: Shut up, you big meatball! I was subtracting with really big numbers!  
  
CM: (mutters) With zeroes. You're such a wuss.  
  
Joey: I HEARD THAT! Now, Barrel Dragon, attack the big meatball's Air Eater!  
  
(Barrel Dragon hits Air Eater and Air Eater dissolves)  
  
Life Points  
  
Joey- 3000  
  
CM- 3000  
  
CM: We've been brought to a tie-  
  
Joey: But ya field's wide open- for my monster to attack ya! I switch my facedown monster to attack and make face-up! Now, Buster Blader, attack his Life Points directly!  
  
(Buster Blader whacks CM with is sword)  
  
CM: OW!  
  
Joey: (smirks) So, who's the wuss now, Computer Man?  
  
CM: (Evil glare)  
  
Life Points  
  
Joey- 3000  
  
CM- 400  
  
CM: My turn. (Draws a card) Hmm, how worthless. Oh well I can always play this- I play Hyozanryu!  
  
Joey: Hyo- what?  
  
CM: (ignores Joey) I also activate my facedown card- Horn of the Unicorn! Now, Hyozanryu has another horn and it gains 700 attack and defense points! Now, my dragon is stronger than yours! Hyozanryu, attack the cadet's Buster Blader!  
  
(Hyozanryu attacks Buster Blader)  
  
Life Points  
  
Joey- 2800  
  
CM- 400  
  
Joey: I'm still winning!  
  
CM: But your Buster Blader's not here anymore!  
  
Joey: Y'know, I would've thought before I'd said that cos guess what!  
  
CM: What?  
  
Joey: I activate Monster Reborn and I'll bring back my Buster Blader from the Graveyard!  
  
CM: So, I'll just destroy it again!  
  
Joey: Uh-uh, I don't think so. Barrel Dragon, attack Hyo- whatever it's name is!  
  
(Barrel Dragon attacks Hyozanryu and Hyozanryu goes to the Graveyard)  
  
Life Points  
  
Joey- 2800  
  
CM- 100  
  
Joey: Oh, wow. Look- your field's wide open . . . for my Buster Blader to attack you!  
  
CM: You wouldn't- you can't!  
  
Joey: I can and I will! Buster Blader, attack the Computer Man's life points directly!  
  
CM: NO! I couldn't have lost! This is a nightmare! I lost to a stupid little cadet!  
  
(Buster Blader whacks CM with his sword for the second time)  
  
Joey: (claps his hands in the 'that-was-too-easy' way) That was excessively easy. How long did it take- ten minutes? Y'know, I've seen duels that take up four whole episodes!  
  
CM: What?  
  
Joey: Wha?  
  
CM: You said four whole episodes- what's that supposed to mean?  
  
Joey: Of course I did- I mean, I didn't! I said four whole hours! Maybe you're just deaf. Now, I think there's something you have to say.  
  
CM: Uh . . .  
  
Joey: (Checks his watch and taps his foot) I'm waiting.  
  
CM: Ok, ok. I had no right to pick on you like that and . . .  
  
Joey: Say that you're a big ugly meatball- to the entire school!  
  
CM: Do I have to?  
  
Joey: Or should I say it? Along with some deep, dark secrets- after all, I read the permanent records- my dad is the commander.  
  
CM: Alright. (takes a deep breath) I'M A BIG UGLY MEATBALL!  
  
Joey: Again.  
  
CM: But-  
  
Joey: Should I?  
  
CM: How many times?  
  
Joey: until you get everyone's attention.  
  
CM: Aw man! (Gulps and shouts to the world) I'M A BIG UGLY MEATBALL! I'M A BIG UGLY MEATBALL! I'M A BIG UGLY MEATBALL! I'M A BIG UBLY MEATBALL! I'M A BIG UGLY MEATBALL! I'M- A- BIG- UGLY- MEAT- BALL!  
  
(All the participants finally get his attention and they burst into laughter)  
  
(Joey beckons to Onni and Zed)  
  
Onni: Congrats, buddy.  
  
Zed: Yeah. Great job.  
  
Joey: We're not done yet. We still have to take him to the Slimerator 3000!  
  
CM: What's that supposed to be!?  
  
Onni: Did you read the rulebook?  
  
Zed: The Slimerator 3000's our sliming machine- and you're our first victim!  
  
Joey: Get 'em boys!  
  
CM: No, please! You can't!  
  
(In front of the Periwinkle Panthers' house)  
  
Zed: Just keep quiet, this won't hurt a bit.  
  
Onni: Zed, you're making it sound like we're giving him a shot!  
  
Zed: We are aren't we?  
  
Joey: No. We're sliming him with maple syrup!  
  
Onni: Count down!  
  
JOZ: Three . . . two. . . one!  
  
(Slimerator 3000 slimes CM in three bug buckets of maple syrup)  
  
Onni: I'd take a shower right now if I were you. It's gonna take three whole bottles of shampoo to get that syrup out of your hair.  
  
Zed: If he has any!  
  
(JOZ laugh)  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
I think this chapter was a little bit longer than the others were. Ah well, at least a lot more happened this time! 


	22. Onni and His Shredded Heart

Hey! Wanna know why I haven't updated???? Cos my stupid computer was down! Well, now it's UP and we can continue!!!!  
  
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Ciara: Jo, that was magnificent!  
  
Joey: I could've beat 'em with two Mystical Elf's. He should "stick" with checkers!  
  
Onni: (pulls out a red checker piece out of his pocket and sticks it on CM's forehead) Definitely!  
  
CM: (threateningly) Your days of power are limited, Cadet, yes it is.  
  
Joey: (sarcastic) Ooh, I'm SO scared!  
  
(Further on . . .)  
  
Onni: Yo, have you seen Katherine?  
  
Zed: Nope. Maybe they can't duel.  
  
Onni: Hey! They can duel; Katherine has cards.  
  
Zed: So? Doesn't mean she can duel, does it Joey?  
  
Joey: He's right, Onni.  
  
Onni: Ciara, where're they?  
  
Ciara: Packing-  
  
Onni: WHAT!?  
  
Ciara: Like I said, packing.  
  
Onni: For what?  
  
Ciara: Didn't you hear? A real aunt of theirs passed away. They have to go to her funeral.  
  
Onni: They're returning after that, right?  
  
(E & K appear)  
  
Katherine: Hey guys!  
  
Elizabeth: What's up?  
  
Onni: What's up? I'll tell ya wassup- ya'll's aunt's dead!  
  
Katherine: (sighs) Yeah . . .  
  
Elizabeth: (sniffs) Why did it have to be Auntie Maura? Why couldn't it be Great-Aunt Martha?  
  
Katherine: Huh? We don't have a Great-Aunt Martha!  
  
Elizabeth: We don't?  
  
Katherine: Duh, babosa.  
  
Elizabeth: Bugaboo.  
  
Onni: Habla Espanola? Yo, there're some people who speak Italian and English!  
  
Joey: I thought you were Irish. (scratches his head) Hey, wait a minute! Doesn't that mean you speak Gaelic?  
  
Onni: (stares at Joey) My dad's Italian. (Blink, blink) I never bothered to learn Gaelic, it's too hard.  
  
Joey: Why didn't you say so?  
  
Katherine: K, can you two argue about this later? We came to say adios to you guys. We're leaving HBMA in three hours . . . and we're not coming back ever again-  
  
Onni: You're not!?  
  
Elizabeth: (shakes her head) Nope. We're starting public school back in Fort Worth, esta bien?  
  
Joey: (rolls his eyes) There you go again.  
  
Elizabeth: Sorry. Anway, we can't compete in the tournament 'cause we're leaving soon.  
  
Katherine: And Onni, I've got some bad news.  
  
Onni: Yeah?  
  
Katherine: I'll have to dump you-  
  
Onni: No! You can't!  
  
Katherine: I have to. However, I still want to be your friend.  
  
Onni: What makes the difference?  
  
Katherine: Well, I'll meet cuter guys there-  
  
Onni: Cuter guys? Guys?  
  
Katherine: I'm sorry- but the guys in Tejas (Te-has) are fine-  
  
Onni: Y'know what? Save it! I'm tired of you dumping me and cheating on me! The score's settled! You win at two-timing and breaking hearts- and you just shredded mine! Maybe you'll place high in shredding hearts, too!  
  
Joey: O, this is getting a little too far.  
  
Zed: Yeah man. There are prettier girls here.  
  
(Onni ignores J&Z and storms away)  
  
Katherine: Was it something I said?  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@  
  
Ooh, that don't look too good. Them two, they had such a good relationship- pitiful it ended this way. . . 


	23. Yogi Motor

I am very sorry! Let's settle it, I'm gonna update on this every week; it might change! O, you guys didn't review the last chapter. Man, that really hurts y'know?  
  
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Joey: Must've been. Aw man, why couldn't you just dump him by e-mail or IM? Or just two-time? Now me and Zed-  
  
Zed: You mean Zed and I.  
  
Joey: Whatever. We two have to deal with Onni. You do know he's a sensitive little runt, right?  
  
(Onni somehow overhears)  
  
Onni: (fiery with anger- yelling) I AM NOT A RUNT! AND I'M NOT LITTLE! IN ADDITION, I'M NOT SENSITIVE!  
  
Joey: (yells back) IT MY FAULT YOU'RE SHORTER THAN ME AND ZED?  
  
Zed: There he goes again. (Mutters) No wonder he's so clueless in everything.  
  
Joey: AND THAT YOU'RE SO SENSITIVE AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S A TWO-TIMER!?  
  
Katherine: HEY!  
  
Onni: SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!  
  
Elizabeth: HEY! Cut it out, will ya?  
  
Joey: Why don't you tell your sister's boyfriend to?  
  
Onni: SHE- IS- NOT- MY- GIRLFRIEND!  
  
(Commander Wheeler comes to see "wassup")  
  
CW: Joseph, what's all the yelling about?  
  
(Joey tries to speak but Zed has something to say)  
  
Zed: Dude, I didn't know your name was Joseph. You know what this means?  
  
Joey: No. Is it supposed to mean something?  
  
Zed: Yeah! You have to breakup with Ciara!  
  
Joey: Say what!?  
  
Zed: Yeah! 'cos you're Joseph, so you have to marry someone named Mary. Then, you have to name your kid Jesus . . . if it's a girl, you should name it Jesusa.  
  
Joey: Said who?  
  
Zed: Said God!  
  
Joey: Did not! God isn't stupid! Just because I don't go to church doesn't mean I don't read the Bible!  
  
Zed: (stares at Joey in amazement) You're actually reading a book without pictures in it? With teeny-tiny writing?  
  
Joey: Yeah! Wait . . . who told you I only read picture books?  
  
Zed: Onni did.  
  
Joey: That little *beep-beep*! Why I oughta!  
  
CW: JOEY!? That's enough! What's going on?  
  
Joey: Nothing, Dad.  
  
CW: (Stares at Joey)  
  
Joey: I mean, sir. Nothing, sir.  
  
CW: Really? So what's the shout about runts and two-timers?  
  
Joey: (acting stupid) Huh? What're runts?  
  
CW: Someone like Yogi.  
  
Joey, Zed, and Elizabeth: Huh?  
  
CW: You know, Joseph, Yogi Motor.  
  
Joey: Who?  
  
CW: That little porcupine boy. You know, the one who dresses like he's partly a Goth.  
  
Joey: (rolls his eyes) Ugh, Dad. That's Yugi! And you are SO lucky he's not here right now. He hates the name Yogi just as much as he hates mean people and bullies!  
  
(Someone taps Joey on the shoulder) (Joey looks around and it's . . .)  
  
Yugi: Jo, I was here the whole time.  
  
Joey: Dad, you're in trouble. 'Cos his big, bully half is gonna come out and beat and humiliate you in a duel.  
  
Yugi: It's all right, Commander Wheeler. Just remember, it's Yugi, not Yogi. My mom never saw that cartoon.  
  
CW: My bad. But you know, I would like to duel you, if it's possible.  
  
Yugi: Totally! But I must warn you, Commander, I won't go easy on you because you're my best friend's dad.  
  
Joey: Shucks, Yugi. No need. Beat 'em in five seconds if you need to. Just defeat him!  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@  
  
How's that? I'm done with this chapter! Now, make sure you review, and if I get a review from at least one very nice person, all of my readers get a Christmas present from me! It'll be another chapter this week! 


	24. JJ and Mr Blankie

I am SO sorry about the LONG delay! You can hate me if you like, just don't hate my story. Well, here it is now- I'm updating this story about every {other} week.  
  
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Yugi: Y'know, Commander Wheeler, I'm having second thoughts about this. We don't have to duel. I mean, I'm really good- not brag or anything.  
  
Joey: Oh please do. There's gotta be somethin' my Dad sucks at.  
  
Zed: Now that's something to see- Commander Wheeler vs. Yugi Motou!  
  
Commander Wheeler: Or maybe you're just scared Yugi?  
  
Yugi: (stammering) Me? No way- uh-uh! Not me! I'm the best of the best!  
  
Zed: More like best of the short people!  
  
(Yugi glares at Zed)  
  
Yugi: I challenge you after I defeat CW.  
  
Zed: Not me! I can't tolerate humiliation- especially from you!  
  
Yugi: You're scared! How about I challenge you first?  
  
Zed: Aw, c'mon man. Don't you think you're making a big deal over a little joke?  
  
(Yugi changes into Yami)  
  
Yami: A little joke? I don't think so!  
  
Zed: Dude, what happened to you? You're, like, taller-  
  
Elizabeth: Ooh, and so good-looking!  
  
Yami: (blushes)  
  
Joey: Sucks- that's not Yugi that's-  
  
(Yami punches Joey's arm)  
  
Joey: OW! What was that for!?  
  
(Yami gives J a cold stare as if in "Don't tell them anything about the Puzzle!")  
  
Joey: Yugi's big brother, Jay Jay.  
  
Yami: (thinking) He's been watching too much Jay Jay the Jet Plane!  
  
Zed: Hey man, what's up, Jay Jay?  
  
Elizabeth: (dreamy) Wow! Jay Jay! A cute name for a cute guy!  
  
Katherine: Wait, if that's Jay Jay- where's Yugi?  
  
Joey: He's um--- (checks his watch) Oh, look, Jay Jay! It's 1:04! Isn't Yugi's naptime?  
  
Yugi: (in his soul room) WHAT!? He's making me sound like a big baby!  
  
Yami {a.k.a. Jay Jay}: Yes, it is, Joey.  
  
Zed: Wait a minute; shouldn't Yugi tell us if he's gonna go take a nap?  
  
Joey: Zed- what kinda wuss tells people about their naptimes? Lemme guess-- you!  
  
Zed: Excuse me? I quit taking naps when I was 3!  
  
Joey: Oh- sure you did . y'know I met Mr. Blankie yesterday. You should cut his mustache off!  
  
(Z widens his eyes)  
  
Zed: Who told you about Mr. Blank- I mean- who's Mr. Blankie?  
  
Joey: Oh, c'mon- I found 'em under your pillow. And I didn't know he was pink!  
  
(Z turns red)  
  
Zed: (cough, cough) I have no idea what you're talking about; you're obviously crazy.  
  
(J reaches into his pocket and gets out a raggedy pink rag)  
  
Joey: (holds the pink rag to Zed's face) I'm crazy, am I?  
  
Zed: (speechless at first) Um- that's not mine, I think it's Dory's- Mum must've gotten mixed up.  
  
Joey: I thought you said Dory hated the colour pink? I thought she couldn't stand pink!  
  
Zed: Oh, my bad- it's Duke's! Y'know he's a little wussy boy!  
  
Joey: Oh sure, he is Zed. We believe ya- right Jay Jay (winks at Yami).  
  
Yami: Um- yes- of course . I mean I think we do--- I don't know!  
  
Joey: Hey Jay Jay, you remember the story about the Tristan who lied about his report card?  
  
Yami: Tristan who-  
  
(Joey nudges "J.J." in the ribs and then gives a cold stare at Yami)  
  
Yami: Oh- yes, Joey- I remember! (turns to Joey and grins)  
  
Joey: It was sad. He lied about his report card and a voice kept haunting him and it said, "Give Melvin the proper report card!" Finally, Tristan broke down on Friday the 13th. It was horrible . gee, J.J., I hope no one we know ends up like that, do you?  
  
J.J.: No, I hope not.  
  
(J and Y turn to Z)  
  
Zed: (breaks down) OKAY, OKAY! I ADMIT IT! I OWN MR. BLANKIE! I've had 'em since I've been born. He's my best buddy!  
  
(Everyone else, but CW, burst out laughing hysterically)  
  
@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
Well there's your chapter- and I'm so sorry it took so long to upload. I just get so bust with other things! So, for this story, check back about every other week. Esta bien? 


	25. Friends Again

I am very upset. No on reviewed the last chapter. The 0 review thing really out me down, so I didn't type for an entire month!  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Elizabeth: Y'know, Kat. I really don't wanna leave HBMA anymore ... besides, I think you could use a lot more discipline.  
  
Kat: WHAT!?  
  
Elizabeth: I mean you can never hold yourself back from anything that you really want to do. The next thing we know, you'll go jack a car because you're dying to have one!  
  
Kat: Uh-uh! That was you! Dad had to pay $1000 bucks 'cos YOU knocked down the stop sign!  
  
Elizabeth: THAT WAS YOU!  
  
Kat: I challenge you!  
  
Elizabeth: (hoping she's not talking about Duel Monsters) To what, checkers?  
  
Kat: Do I play checkers ... Granny?  
  
Elizabeth: So are you talking about ... um, Twister?  
  
Kat: Does this school keep Twister?  
  
Elizabeth: (challenges Kat to the phrase game) I don't know... do they?  
  
Kat: (gets what her twin's doing {it's a twin vibe!}) Do they?  
  
Liz: DO they?  
  
Kat: Do th-  
  
Joey: Will you two cut it out! (turns to Liz) Are you afraid your sister's gonna beat you?  
  
Liz: Actually, I'm afraid for her. You see- she may be the popular one, but she hasn't any skills in anything!  
  
Kat: WHAT!? I have more skills and guts than you!  
  
Zed: Elizabeth, she's challenging you to a duel!  
  
Liz: Well I refuse!  
  
Kat: Chicken.  
  
Liz: Aw, shaddup. I'm doing it so you don't get humiliated.  
  
Kat: When was the last time you tried to save me from being humiliated... let's see... oh yea- Kindergarten!  
  
Liz: We never went to Kindergarten!  
  
Kat: Exactly! You never tried to rescue me. I, myself, on the other hand, have saved you every year!  
  
Liz: No, you got me to be humiliated!  
  
CW: I'll have to ask you two to stop at once (turns to his son) I'm sorry, Soldier; this will have to stop immediately!  
  
Joey: But Dad!  
  
CW: (glares at his son)  
  
Joey: *sighs* Oh, fine.  
  
Zed: But we only to slime one person!  
  
Joey: C'mon, Zed. We have to go talk to somebody.  
  
(PPH)  
  
Joey: Hey Onni!  
  
Onni: (turns around to see Joey and Zed) Hey guys! What's up!  
  
Zed: Well you sure got happy in a hurry!  
  
Onni: I decided you were right, Zed. There are prettier gals here... or maybe I'll be one of those who are, y'know, hard to get.  
  
Joey: Sounds like a nice plan.  
  
Zed: Hmm, maybe I'll be hard to get, too.  
  
Onni: Cool- we're missing one more thing...  
  
(OZ turn to J)  
  
Joey: I'm sorry; I'm sticking with Ciara.  
  
Zed: You have to dump Ciara... and the other one!  
  
Joey: How do you know about M- I mean; what do you mean 'the other one'?  
  
Zed: Y'know- Mai Valentine!  
  
Joey: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT... I don't know any Mai Valentine. Is this a new St. Valentine's Day candy?  
  
Onni: I think you know who we're talking about (turns to Zed) Zed, I insist. You have such optimism when you read.  
  
Zed: Gladly. (gets a green notebook out of his drawer) *clears his throat* "Dear Journal, Today was a great day. I went out with Mai- and it happened like that! She kissed me on the cheek! Can we say slam-dunk or what! I can't wait to see what'll happen tomorrow; I'm taking her to a really special place!"  
  
Onni: So, Jo, what was that special place? Your room?  
  
Zed: Or maybe, it was her room?  
  
Joey: OK, you two. I think the problem here is- WHAT- WERE- YOU- DOING- IN- MY- DRAWER!?  
  
Zed: You didn't answer us yet. Where was that special place?  
  
Joey: Nope, sorry. Can't tell 'til you tell me where you got that.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Glad to know that Onni's their friend again.  
  
Y'know, JOZ kinda reminds me of me and two of my friends- Katie and Alyson. Katie's like Joey, I'm like Onni, and Alyson's like Zed. Here's why: Katie and I have known each other for two years. Alyson's kind of a new best friend to us. I'm a little sensitive at times (like Onni) and Katie, like Joey, tries to become my friend again.  
  
It's a complete coincidence, 'cos I just realised all this stuff now!  
  
DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! 


	26. Not From Saturn! Can't Be!

WOOHOO! I UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Zed: Aw, c'mon! I'll give ya five bucks!  
  
Joey: Nope.  
  
Zed: 10?  
  
Joey: I can make that much mowing two lawns. Not taking it.  
  
Zed: Fifteen dollars!  
  
Onni: Stupid, don't pay him to tell you a secret!  
  
Zed: *is in Obsession mode* Secrets! Must know secrets!  
  
Onni: Will you PLEASE get over yourself! You don't go to Fossil Ridge High School anymore!  
  
Joey: Obviously, Onni. Where've you been?  
  
Onni: You don't get it, Joe. Zed was the gossip columnist back at Fossil Ridge! He knew every single secret and rumour to ever be told by a Fossil Ridge student!  
  
*Chibi Zed whacks Chibi Onni with a not-so-Chibi hammer*  
  
Chibi Onni: Ow! *starts whining* What'd you hit me for!?  
  
Chibi Zed: Genius! I thought I told you that was a secret!  
  
Chibi Onni: (still a little whiny) But what's wrong with telling Joey? He's not gonna tell CNN or anything!  
  
Chibi Joey: So what if I do?  
  
*Chibi Zed whacks Chibi Joey with the not-so-Chibi hammer*  
  
*Chibi Joey starts crying*  
  
Chibi Zed: You better not!  
  
*And for some reason Chibi Zed starts crying too*  
  
(A/N: Ain't that just ADORABLE to imagine? Three little kawaii Chibis sitting there and crying! AWWWWW!)  
  
(Breakfast the next morning)  
  
Joey: Zed, were you really the gossip columnist back in Fossil Ridge? Isn't that a girl's job?  
  
Zed: Joey, I really value my neck. Do you value yours?  
  
Joey: Yeah. Why?  
  
Zed: I thought so. Now I suggest you shut up before I wring it. (coolly sips his orange juice)  
  
(ping!) (Zed slams his orange juice glass on the table)  
  
Onni: Hey, Joey! Hi, Zed!  
  
Joey: Hey Onni!  
  
Zed: Hi Darren.  
  
Joey: Who's Darren?  
  
Onni: Darren's my first name.  
  
Joey: So where does Onni fit in?  
  
Onni: You ever hear of 'middle names'?  
  
Joey: I don't have one.  
  
Onni: Sure you do. Don't you know it?  
  
Joey: I dunno. My mom always called me Joseph, and my dad always called me Soldier.  
  
Zed: So you're telling me you don't have a middle name? (gasps) Ohmigod! That means you don't have a full name! How're you gonna get your driver's license!?  
  
Joey: (eyes widen) Ohmigod, Zed, you're right! What is my middle name?  
  
Onni: Why don't we ask your dad?  
  
Zed: Hey! Commander Wheeler! Over here- (Joeys puts his hand over Zed's mouth)  
  
Joey: Shut up! My dad doesn't know my middle name. He's called me Soldier for so long I doubt he even remembers my first and last names are Joey Wheeler.  
  
Onni: That's horrible...  
  
Zed: I know! We can look at your birth certificate!  
  
Onni: His birth certificate's at home, genius.  
  
Zed: No, Einstein, the school has to have a copy of your birth certificate.  
  
Joey: Why would you need a birth certificate.  
  
Zed: (scratches his head in thought) Hmm.... Hold on, lemme think... Oh yeah! So they know that you're a real human. They have to make sure you're not from Mars or something.  
  
Onni: Why?  
  
Zed: God, why am I going over this? So it's confirmed that you're not taking our strategies to Pluto or something.  
  
Onni: Oh, that makes sense.  
  
Joey: Why don't we go find my birth certificate during lunch?  
  
Onni: OK.  
  
(Lunchtime... dun-dun-dun!)  
  
Zed: Walters, Watson, Wheaton, Wheeler... found it!  
  
Joey: Lemme see! Let's see... Wheeler, Amy; Wheeler, Annabelle; Wheeler, Cora; Wheeler, Gary; Wheeler, Joseph!  
  
Zed: All right! Now what?  
  
Onni: Open the file!  
  
Joey: Oh, right! (opens the file) Ok... hmm... (a minute after looking thru the papers) it's not there.  
  
Onni: What!? Let me see!) (grabs the papers and searches) Joey- you're right! It's not there!  
  
Zed: Let me see! (he looks also) It's not there!  
  
Onni: Do you realize what this means?  
  
Joey: What?  
  
Onni: (loud whisper) Joey's an alien! He's from Saturn!  
  
Joey: Ohmigod! I'm an alien...! Wait! Why do I have to be from Saturn? I wanna be from Mars!  
  
Onni: Well you're a Capricorn aren't you?  
  
Joey: Yeah.  
  
Onni: So you must be from Saturn!  
  
Joey: Man! I like Mars better!  
  
Onni: Hey, where's Zed?  
  
(JO look around)  
  
{Then they find a note, which says:  
Joey! You will be eliminated!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Joey: God, there she goes again- talking like Mink! 


	27. ARNOLD?

No reviews, huh? I see how it is...!  
  
Joey: What does eliminated mean, Onni?  
  
Onni: It means killed.  
  
Joey: Ohmigod! I don't wanna die!  
  
Onni: But who wrote it? I think that's the better question.  
  
Joey: Well who, other than us, knows about my being an alien...  
  
JO: Zed does!  
  
Joey: Wait a minute! Zed's our friend. Why would he want to "eliminate" me?  
  
Onni: He should have his reasons. Even you don't have an alibi in this case.  
  
(PPH)  
  
Onni: Zed, why'd you run away?  
  
Zed: I had to take care of business, thanks.  
  
Joey: What KIND of business?  
  
Zed: (rolls his eyes) Bathroom business, ok?  
  
Onni: Well I don't believe ya!  
  
Joey: Me neither. What can you tell me about this!?  
  
(Joey shoves the note into Zed's face)  
  
Zed: Who would be stupid enough to eliminate you? I mean, you're the Commander's son!  
  
Onni: You?  
  
Zed: I DIDN'T WRITE IT!  
  
Danny: (who overheard their conversation) Did you write ANOTHER love note to Tina Fourtherson? Zed, you do know that your chances with Tina are, like, two in a billion, right?  
  
Joey: Whoa, Zed! You like Tina Fourtherson!?  
  
Onni: (slaps Joey on the shoulder) Joe, that's not what we're talking about right now! Tina Fourtherson isn't going anywhere, ok? We have to find out who wants to eliminate you!  
  
Danny: Someone wants to eliminate you, Joey? But you're the Commander's son! What kind of an idiot would have the guts to kill YOU?  
  
Onni: (points to Zed) HE DOES!  
  
Zed: I DO NOT!  
  
Seth: (Danny's friend) What did you do, Wheeler?  
  
Joey: Nothing!  
  
Onni: He's an alien. (announced very proudly) And he's from Saturn. We couldn't find his birth certificate, which proves he's an alien.  
  
Seth: Where did you look?  
  
Joey: In the main office, why?  
  
Danny: Well no wonder you couldn't find it! The main office has junk like school records and report cards! If you want birth certificates and baby pictures, you have to look in the Medical Office!  
  
Seth: Who wouldn't know that?  
  
(Later, at the Medical Office)  
  
Onni: So I guess you're not alien after all!  
  
Zed: And we get to know you're middle name!  
  
Joey: If I have one, that is.  
  
Onni: Well you should have one. My full name is Darren Pierre Onni Spearitt.  
  
Zed: Mine's Zed Aristotle Glenmora. My dad was always talking about famous philosophers so they made my middle name Aristotle.  
  
Joey: And I'm guessing Duke's middle name is Galileo.  
  
Zed: Close, it's Plato.  
  
Onni: So what's your sister's middle name?  
  
Zed: Cora.  
  
Onni: There's a philosopher named Cora? I never knew that.  
  
Zed: There isn't.  
  
Onni: Oh, that's too bad... Joey, did you find your folder?  
  
Joey: Yep. Here it is!  
  
Zed: Ok, now look for your birth certificate.  
  
Joey: Hmm... ooh, here it is!  
  
Onni: Let's see it!  
  
Joey: (quickly scans thru it) (winces) My middle name is Arnold.  
  
Zed: What kind of a name is that?  
  
ARNOLD!?!?!?!?!? What kind of a name IS that? Make sure you review! 


	28. Leaving On Tuesday

What kind of a name is ARNOLD!?!?!?   
  
Onni: Where did you look?  
  
(Onni snatches the certificate out of Joey's hands)  
  
Onni: Good job, Einstein, you found the first name of your doctor: Arnold Carter!  
  
Joey: (tiny voice) Oh...  
  
Zed: So does Joey have a middle name or not?  
  
Onni: Let's see... all it says is Joseph Wheeler.  
  
Joey: Oh too bad. At least I don't have anything to be embarassed about. C'mon, let's get going now.  
  
(The next day is Sunday...) (After HBMA's religion classes)  
  
Some annoncer person: Would Joseph Wheeler please report to the Commander's office? Joseph Wheeler to the Commander's office.  
  
click  
  
(a chorus of "ooh"s go around)  
  
Seth: What'd you do?  
  
Joey: Nothing. I promise!  
  
Zed: Well go see what's up! We promised Yugi we were gonna hang out with him today, remember?  
  
Onni: Hurry up!  
  
Joey: Right.  
  
(Joey goes to his dad's office)  
  
Joey: You needed to see me, Dad- I mean, Commander?  
  
CW: Sit.  
  
(Joey sits down on the chair in front of his dad's desk)  
  
CW: You've had major improvement within the eight months you've been here. You're concentrating, your grades are amazing, and you're not getting in trouble all the time.  
  
Joey: Coolness!  
  
(CW stares at Joey)  
  
Joey: I mean, amazing. Can I go now?  
  
CW: Not yet. I just wanted to tell you that I got you and Yugi tickets to go back to Domino City on Tuesday because you obviously have no more needs to stay here.  
  
Joey: You mean I'm going back to Domino High?  
  
CW: Precisely... now you may leave.  
  
(Joey stands up, salutes his dad, and leaves his office)  
  
Joey: (talking to himself) I'm not sure whether should be happy or sad... I'm going back to my real home, but I'll be leaving two of the greatest friends someone could ever have....  
  
(Zed Onni and Yugi run 2 Joey)  
  
Yugi: So? What'd your dad say?  
  
Joey: He bought me and Yugi tickets to go back to Domino City on Tuesday...  
  
Yugi: Hey that's great!  
  
(Joey looks at Onni and Zed)  
  
(Onni and Zed have very sad looks on their faces)  
  
Joey: I'm not sure whether I should be happy or sad.  
  
Yugi: Me either...  
  
Onni: This sucks.  
  
Zed: Completely.  
  
Onni: You two are like the only friends I have.  
  
Zed: HEY!  
  
Onni: Besides Zed.  
  
Zed: Thank you.  
  
Onni: Shut up.  
  
Bad ending to the chappie, huh? You guys must be disappointed to hear it's ending, ne? But you know, I was listening to S Club's song 'Say Goodbye' and I said, "You know what? Joey needs to go home and kick Tristan's butt sooner or later." So I think there will be one {maybe two} more chapters. Get out the tissues and "say goodbye" to HBMA.... 


	29. Zed's Moving

Heyness everyone! I don't have anyhing 2 say at the time so here's chapter 29!  
  
(Tuesday afternoon...)  
  
Yugi: (in the Periwinkle Panther's house) All set, Joe?  
  
Joey: Almost.  
  
Onni: I cannot believe you guys have to leave in 1 hour! HBMA's SO not gonna be the same with out you two.  
  
Yugi: Where's Zed?  
  
Onni: His folks called from New York.  
  
Yugi: Oh.  
  
Joey: Hey, Onni. Do you remember that time went to the Kirei Game Shop and we dueled?  
  
Onni: And I won!  
  
Joey: Yeah... and the time you saw that Katherine was cheating on you.  
  
Onni: Forget her! I'll probably see her when I'm 25. But I'll be with some other chic... some other hot chic. She'll probably be a hooker.  
  
Yugi: Onni! Don't say that!  
  
Onni: Yeah? Why not?  
  
Yugi: (whispering to Onni) Because, Shujee rated this story G- not PG-13! So don't be talking about you-know-whats in front of little 13-minuses!  
  
Onni: Oh... oops! Sorry!  
  
Joey: Yeah anyway. How about that time we made Kaiba a chicken.  
  
Onni: Classic...  
  
(Flashback)  
  
Kaiba opens the door and a big glob of molasses fall on him)  
  
Kaiba: gapes  
  
(Onni and Zed turn the fans on and feathers start to blow in Kaiba's direction!)  
  
(Kaiba tries to run but Joey and Zed block both the doors)  
  
(Onni shows up from behind Kaiba)  
  
Onni: Interesting outfit, Kaiba. Is this what you wear to every duel? Impressive, you're more of a chicken than I thought you were! (turns to Joey) He does wear this to every duel right Joey?  
  
Joey Yep.  
  
Zed: You duel looking like a chicken! (laughs) No wonder Joey chases after you-the dog always chases the chicken!  
  
(Kaiba, Joey, and Onni stare at Zed)  
  
Zed: What? Onni took all of the good lines!  
  
Onni: Still wanna duel Kaiba?  
  
Kaiba: (gets his deck out and sees that all of his cards are stuck together) How dare you?  
  
(JOZ laugh and high-five each other)  
  
(End flashback)  
  
Onni: Good times. We got Kaiba bad!  
  
(Yugi laughs)  
  
Yugi: Wow. You guys really did some really wacky stuff here.  
  
Joey: Oh yea!  
  
(Zed comes into the dorm)  
  
Zed: Hey guys. Guess what.  
  
Joey: What?  
  
Zed: Guess!  
  
Onni: You have a plan to ruin business in KaibaCorp.?  
  
Zed: Nope.  
  
Yugi: Does it have to do with dueling?  
  
Zed: Naw.  
  
Joey: Then what!?!!  
  
Zed: My dad got transferred to Domino City!  
  
Joey: Alright!  
  
Yugi: Yes!  
  
Onni: Oh.  
  
(End chapter) 


	30. Home Again

Ohmigod! Zed's moving too! Poor Onni!  
  
)()()()())))()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(  
  
Zed: And better, I'm going to Domino High!  
  
Joey: Awesome!  
  
Onni: I can't hang here alone.  
  
Zed: Oh.. yea...  
  
Yugi: What about Danny and Seth?  
  
Onni: Well, they're okay to talk to, once in a while. But we're not really friends  
  
(Everyone sighs)  
  
Joey: I'm going to Gamer's College in Domino City.  
  
Yugi: blink blink Okay...  
  
Joey: You don't get it. What I'm trying to say is that we could go to the same college!  
  
Onni: Yeah! But what if we all don't make it in?  
  
Joey: That's not a problem. They don't reject anyone. They take anyone!  
  
Zed: They sound more desperate than well-taught to me.  
  
Joey: glares at Zed Not helping, Z.  
  
Onni: And besides, we'll still e-mail each other and junk, right?  
  
Joey: Yeah!  
  
(Yugi looks at his watch)  
  
Yugi: Joe, c'mon, I think we should go catch a bus now.  
  
Joey: Yea, you're right.  
  
Zed: So this is it then, the last time we'll be a foursome.  
  
Onni: We'll see each other again, in two (or is it 3?) years.  
  
Yugi: Yeah.  
  
Zed: But I'll see you next year. My parents want me to complete tenth grade here.  
  
Joey: Ok, cool.  
  
Yugi: Let's go now. I don't wanna miss the train.  
  
Joey: Yeah. Right. Okay, you two, see you guys around.  
  
(Yugi and Joey head out the door with their stuff)  
  
Zed: Bye guys.  
  
Onni: See you guys in two years.  
  
(5:30 pm- back in Domino City)  
  
(Yugi and Joey just wander around Domino)  
  
Yugi: So where do you think they are?  
  
Joey: Let's try Burger World.  
  
Yugi: You're just saying that 'cos you're starved aren't you?  
  
Joey: Yeah, but it's worh a try.  
  
(BurgerWorld)  
  
(Yugi and Joey go in)  
  
(Yugi spots a guy with pointy hair)  
  
Yugi: Hey, I see a guy with pointy hair. Maybe it's Tristan.  
  
Joey: I need to kick his butt. Psh- asking Serenity out like that, he's gonna pay! in imaginary world, Joey punches a punching back that looks like Tristan  
  
(J&Y walk over 2 the table)  
  
(IT'S THEM!!)  
  
Joey: Hey guys, what up?  
  
Tristan: JOEY! YUGI!  
  
Tea (must die!): Hey you two!  
  
Bakura: You're back. smiles  
  
Joey: Move over, Tristan, make some room for me and Yug.  
  
Tea: So, do you guys want anything to eat? Fries? Burger? Milkshake? All on me!  
  
Joey: I'll take a burger, some fries, a chocolate milkshake... and hey how about you toss in some onion rings?  
  
Tea: glares at Joey How about you Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Some cheese fries, thanks.  
  
Tea: Okay. (goes up to order their food)  
  
Joey: So, Tristan, I heard you got hooked up... with my sister!  
  
Tristan: Well I-- it was Bakura's idea!  
  
Joey: Oh sure it was! Always blaming the good guy!  
  
(Tristan and Joey go on arguing)  
  
(END)  
  
Well there you have it- the last chapter of Joey Goes To Military School! I hope ya'll liked the stories. I, for one thing, had a great time writing it. I'd like to thank all of my reviewers (FLAMERS AND NON-FLAMERS). Ya'll rock! It think this is the longest chappie in the story! Okay- I'm outta here! Love ya'll! Bye! 


End file.
